I am immensely attracted to my professor. He is only 30 years old. Is there anything I can do but lust? Is this wrong to want to try and pursue something? I don't know if there's anything there. But I know he's not married so. There's hope right? Haha or am I just being naive? Any advice or anyone been in this situation? I don't need to be his girlfriend or dating him. I'm not worried about broken hearts or being used. I know my intentions and they're not entirely pure =) What're some ways to spark reactions from him to know whether to proceed to halt?
Visit him in his office hours and have casual conversations with him until the semester ends. After the semester, be sure not to register for any of his classes and continue to see him in his office hours next semester. Then when you are no longer his student, the pressure is off and you can have deeper personal conversations with him.
You've developed a crush for your teacher. Normally, I would say that's not such a bad thing. You talk with him outside of class and get to know him. Make sure to let things develop outside the classroom. . . However. You've informed me that it's not an entirely pure attraction. . . You have to put that in check. If all you want this guy for is a sexual encounter, then it's not a healthy thing. You have to step back and think about what you're attracted to first. I would advise NOT to pursue anything that just leads to sex. Get to know him at a personal level first. . . Personality, beliefs, quarks. . . Then decide if you want to be with him.
If you cannot get over this lust. . . Then walk away. Not only is it unhealthy for you, it's unhealthy for him, and for his career. Because of the tension of what he does and what you are to him (student to teacher) This would be hard enough. . . But with those intentions. . . It's near impossible
Well if a relationship were possible then I would totally go all in for it. I just only expect sex because I thought the chances were slim and a relationship would be a long shot. i do like him. In a healthy way, not an obsessive sexually way. But if I expect less then I won't feel as bad later. You know what I mean? But thanks for that insight. I hope this clarification makes sense. - 9 months ago
Hmm, that's an interesting/sticky situation you got there. It is highly probably that he would reject you purely mentally purely on the grounds that you are his student. Aside from that, he seems fair game. But you are going to need to be very very careful about how you approach this one if you want to pursue it. As you probably know already, he is going to find the idea of dating his student very uncomfortable. good luck and let us know how it goes if you want to try anything =)
Well I'm going to try connect more with him and see if anythings there or not first. The semester is over soon and I won't be his student anymore so that is a plus for the ethics issue. im just stuck on how to approach this. And how to get a reaction that would be positive for this type of situation. I don't want make a fool of myself! Hah! - 9 months ago
Answerer
Office hours are you friend here here's a brief plan for you, ask him you want to talk about something related to his class. As long as this isn't a math class or something, it should be fine, as you won't be asking for help. Just talk. For example about literature read in class or something. You know, to express your thoughts. Then, tell him that your schedule isn't working with his office hours, and request to meet in a coffee shop or something. and there you go, a good chance for contact - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Ahhh I love your thinking! thanks, I think will have to try this... - 9 months ago
Good thinking verb, I couldn't have said it better myself. And you girlie, the professor? If these girls keep going for the professors what will I have left? :( - 9 months ago
Well, if you REALLY REALLY wanna: Get him aware of you. Try to be more into his non class life. Touch on the hand as you drop off papers or ask a question. Creating close proximity, place him between you and the door/exit. Maybe as you walk away touch a shoulder and drag/graze your hand as you walk past to said door/exit and end with a wave Visually stimulate him: lollipops and popsicles are always suggestive.
Do not do anything. If things go wrong (which they most likely will), your Professor could loose his teaching license. You could get implicated. All together it is not a good idea. Remember, Professor is a position of authority and you are his student -- do not do anything. It is far too risky. If you simply cannot stop thinking about this Professor, the best thing to do is withdraw/drop his class and pick-it-up later with another Professor. It is likely you are not the only female student who is attracted to him - and you probably won't be the last. You may just be really attracted to a male authority figure (I am guessing this is what is surfacing at your subconscious), furthermore you are probably aware that this situation has 'risk' written all over it -- which makes it sort of attractive & fun. In the longterm, it's just not a good idea.
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