I have been friends with this nice guy for the last 2 1/2 years. I think he is so amazing - very sensitive, kind, polite, patient & forgiving. I can see things in him that I don't even think he sees in himself. We are able to talk about anything. I am very outgoing, confident, intelligent, & a pretty good conversationalist. I am nice, but at the same time assertive where need be. I have strong, definite opinions but at the same time try to understand where people are coming from.
My guy friend said that he doesn't believe he would have any difficulty getting a girlfriend because he does have a lot of friends who are girls (true, because he is very approachable and non-threatening). He also said that he isn't ready to be in a relationship (wants to explore & try other things). I am convinced that he really enjoys the attention that he gets from girls, however, I doubt he can sense when a girl is more intellectual, 'deeper', sensitive, and just all around insightful and meaningful.
I am developing really really strong feelings for him. If he doesn't reciprocate those feelings. I feel like I just can't continuing being friends (seriously, it would hurt too much). What do you think I can do? - Last year I asked him if he liked me more than a friend (and he said no - and he was sorry he led me on to believe this). Later this year his best friend, in a period of drunkness blurted out that he is "crazy about me". I am so confused. I have given him many opportunities to express his feelings towards me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't how else to make it clear that he means so much to me. In a more than friends way. And that I of all people would never taken advantage of his 'niceness' but recognize it & appreciate it & know how lucky I am to have a guy like that in my life.
I am afraid that I cannot continue being friends with him, just because every time I think about him or look at him - it hurts too much.
I don't want to scare him off or force him into anything - but, wow, he is such an amazing catch. He doesn't realize how wonderful he truly is - especially in a world full of users/jerks.
Thoughts anyone?
Update: He always texts me. Even though he has a bunch of other friends who are girls he always chooses to text me. I am so confused!
4 months ago
It's obvious that he cares about you and respect your opinion. Which is good. Ignoring what his friend blurted out while drunk (i wouldn't really trust people when they are drunk), your opinion of your friend what what he told you are a little conflicting. Judging by the image of him I got from you, it feels like he's a very understanding, approachable, and interesting individual, which means he is sure to understand how you feel about him. Yet why would he reject you when he's single? That just seems a bit strange.
It is possible that he is a little immature, which might explain some of the things you say about him. I would consult a few mutual friends and see what their opinion is first, because as we all know, love is like a heavy flu, it blinds you and messes with your ability to reason. If your friends think that he actually does like you or he's worth pursuing, then maybe you can try to take things slow. Don't ask him out directly, but set up for small "romantic" moments such as coffee dates or just chatting and watching the sunset and stuff like that. From your description, it sounds like it's possible for him to slowly grow to like you in the way you like him.
Thanks! I think we are going to be hanging out this week with some friends. I suppose, yes it is a maturity. I hate to use age as a factor, but he is 20 and I am 22. - 4 months ago
Answerer
You are welcome. And is it possible for him to be one of those "I shall never date a girl that's older than me" types? I know a few guys that are like that. A stupid way to pass out on a good relationship though - 4 months ago
Question Asker
No, I don't think he is one of those types. Well at least I don't hope so! He hasn't had much relationship experience, so I think he needs to 'try' out a lot of relationships until he realizes what he wants. Sometimes that is part of the problem -- he doesn't know what he wants, and I am pretty sure what I want. - 4 months ago
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
Someone blessed with something might see it as a curse because they DO the things that people do not want them to do. His reward is seeing what he did wrong in that particular part of his life and he feels completely comfortable with leaving you in the limbo where your thoughts creates more energy than is necessary to continue an argument about something. Try humility without the cramp of love.
Hmm, an eloquent and puzzling one. In a nutshell, I think he means that you should give up on him. That the guy you like has put himself in a position where he believes he is superior to you and further pursuing the situation would result in nothing until this guy realizes it. - 4 months ago
What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 4 months ago
Make yourself unavailable to him and don't answer his texts often. Maybe that would force him to say something. Hope it work.
*so today I saw Dru(the dude I like) fir the first time in about a week. at first we just ignored him and then he called me sexy and just flirted...
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He smiles at me sometimes and he walks me to the car and sometimes doesn't say much. I'm so shy that I get so I can't even ask him anything either!...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My ideal first date is just a night alone with him. I am not to fond of expensive outings. If you love someone it should not matter how much they spend on you. We could watch a scary movie at his place and I would pretend to be scared out of my mind just so I could cuddle with him. The date ends with a soft kiss on the lips and him asking me out an another wonderful date.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
It is a first date and on first dates, I try not to be a complete open book. I want him to want more. If I tell him everything, it may seem as if I'm desperate for him to like me. I would tell him simple things about my goals and regrets and my likes and dislikes. But with a little mystery to it. This will keep him wanting more and more.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
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