A guy is "friends" with a girl for only about a month. They hang out a few times, and then he tells her he is interested in her but she tells him she believed it was understood that they were just friends and that she doesn't feel that "connection", at least "not yet". If the girl REALLY had no interest in the guy as anything other than a friend, would it make sense that she would not only not "back off" but also start IMing and texting him MORE? Like, every OTHER day? Because this is what's happening and it doesn't make ANY sense to me. just yesterday, she texted me in the morning and said what's up, so we text each other back and forth for a little, then she just stops texting back, then around 6 pm, she texted me again saying HEY, DID You EAT YET? So again we text back and forth a little, then I stopped, then at 11 pm she's like HEY, WHAT DID You END UP ORDERING? And I just didn't answer, THEN this morning she texted me AGAIN and hasn't stopped since 930 this morning, askin me if I'm going to the gym.
Well, it sounds like this girl doesn't have any friends in her life and views you as her friend. She has already told you that she doesn't feel a romantic connection with you, so there can be nothing else that she feels towards you other than being a friend. It sounds as though she is very needy and you may be her only friend at this time. I would draw some boundaries with her to keep her from becoming dependent on you to be her only friend, and especially if you would like to have more of a relationship with her than just friends. Drawing boundaries with her will prove to her that you have a life outside of her, and it may give her more respect for you as a potential partner or mate for the future. She may begin to see you in a different light. Also, do not do "friend" stuff with her if you want more than that. She will either start to feel a spark towards you because you are saying no to her (and women love that! ) or else she will get mad and hit the road. Either way, you'll be a winner!
She's found she can control you. She likes it and has nothing better going on right now. Sooner or later she'll get tired of dangling you like a toy and find a boyfriend. Then you'll be the emasculated "safe" guy friend who she still doesn't think of that way. Stop returning her texts the minute she sends them (I know you do), get yourself a few dates and you'll be much more appealing as a boyfriend.
I had a girl tell me that there wasn't going to be an "us". She didn't want a relationship. It just wasn't going to happen. But she kept getting closer. In no time we were a couple and then she was talking about marriage. It was me pursuing - but with her leading. In another case, a girl who didn't want a relationship was having someone's kid the next time I saw her. What can I say? Go by body language and not words.
This is tough. To me, you guys are technically just friends, for now. She seems like a girl who has some reserved feelings. The other scenario is that she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Did you ask her why she just wants to be friends (don't take that "I don't want to ruin our friendship" crap). I've been in this situation before, beware if you really like her. Give it some time though before you ask her out again, and keep a little bit of distance. Just don't always be available to her, make her want you in a way.
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What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
I pretty much always start out with a friendly greeting. I follow that up with a comment or question relating to where we are (club, amusement park, etc...). After that, just find out whether she is there with other people and what they are up to that evening. If the conversation to that point goes well, I then ask her/them if they want to join me/us and take it from there.
How do they typically respond?
With this approach, I have had success (I would say at least 2/3 of the time) and it might have to do with the genuine attempt to get to know them. Its important to display a calm and confident approach because its those brief moments in which a girl decides whether to deny you or is left intrigued by you and is wanting more.
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