Sad, but true, not just men, but there are a lot of women that are equally shallow, shallowness is not a gender specific issue. Though admittedly I am a bit shallow (for cuteness, not hotness) I just can't help it, I can't look past things like that I've tried, but I really can't I don't know why. Being over-weight is only an issue to me if that person doesn't want to improve themselves, to me it's a health issue I don't like constant stress about someone I'm with's health when it can be avoided/changed; and I'm willing to help even if it means changing my own diet to help motivate them, exercising with them or w/e (though admittedly I actually enjoy exercise). But when it comes to opening doors and being polite I do that for just about everyone, I've had people ask me if I was a door man and if they were supposed to tip me at a clothing store, because I was getting the door for people.
I used to be over-weight and lost quite a bit of weight as well. If I were you I wouldn't be interested in guys who weren't interested in me until my appearance changed then suddenly became nice to me, that's wrong. Even if you were over weight then it doesn't mean they should've been less nice to you. But not all guys are that way, and not even all guys are shallow as I am for cuteness (however slight it may be) (and personality is still more important than looks/cuteness to me), I have friends who've dated less attractive women, because they were genuinely attracted to their personality.
So I wouldn't say it's cause to just give up on guys altogether, there are guys that will love you genuinily beyond the skin.
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I understand what your saying, I recently lost a lot of weight to and now it's the same way with girls they stair they chat me up the make comments pretty much what you described. Personally I think that if you look nice it shows that you take care of your self it's not all physical it reflects on your personality in terms of responsibility and discipline etc. It is funny as hell though if you have been fat and unattractive to see some of the responses you get. I have nothing against these women though I love the attention but I'm kind of a tease.
Ok boy and girls, I think its less to do with how much you weigh and more to do with self-confidence. When you feel good about yourself and portray confidence it is more likely that the opposite sex will find you attractive. So yes, you way less and now you are getting more attention -is this perhaps more to do with the fact that you are sending out better vibes? I've dated guys who were less traditional in what we deem attractive and I can tell you that it was mostly confidence that caught my attention. I doubt men find insecurities all that alluring and women who feel that their weight is an issue makes for a very boring partner -same goes for when we look at guys. I dont faf too much about my weight, I like being active because it makes me feel good, but I dont watch the scales and I dont have a melt down when I gain alil.
Guys can't help it, it's biology. I saw a documentary where they showed men all over the world images of womens bodies...drawings ranging from thin to large with different proportions. They overwhelmingly chose one body type that was like a slim hourglass...even Amazonian tribesmen that had never seen TV or anything. It just has to do with your proportions what triggers that response in a guy...at FIRST GLANCE. They don't know you at all, so it's nothing personal! Give them a chance to get to know you and you them before you make any snap judgements. After all, that's what you're doing with them...judging them before you know anything about them.
Maybe because now you take more pride in your appearance you look healthier. I mean honestly, who would you rather give your number to? Jared (before the subway diet) or Bradley Cooper?
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Um, you should ask, "People: why are you so shallow." because it's not just guys that do that, girls also do it.
I've been through a rollercoaster of weight issues and I've seen the exact same thing from women. I was heavy got little to no attention, went to the gym for 1 year straight got in great shape, got more attention from women than I ever imagined. Then had a bad shoulder injury and stopped exercising. Gained a bunch of weight. Attention stopped. Then I got back to the gym and I'm back in great shape and get a ton of attention. So it's not just guys.Are you sure it is the guys that are so shallow. Yes I will give you that some guys are as you describe and do the things you wrote about. However did you stop to think that maybe you project a different image now maybe not on purpose or not even knowingly. Most people lose weight to feel better about them self and in return project that out as a more pleasant person to be around not to say that you were not pleasant to be around before I would not know. Personally I would hold a door open for an older lady as quickly as I would for a supermodel mainly because I was raised to do that as respecting elders and just trying to be a helpful person in general. I can understand you noticing this from people you are around all the time such as work or places you hang out at and the people know you. But if it is random places that this is happening then how can you know that it is because you lost weight. I mean these people do not know you lost weight.
Congrats, your the winner of stupid question (or rather, statement) of the day!
So do you not pay a little more attention to "hot" guys? do you not think of them and want to be with them more than the guys you don't find attractive? Do you honestly treat every single person equally?
No... you don't.
Now go eat cake in the corner, you were happier when fat it appearsWomen critique everything from what the guy looks like, wears, smells, and the woman that he is with. Women are far more shallow then men.
It is possible that you were getting attention but you just didn't find those men attractive so you ignored them. We believe what we want to believe really.
My friend was perfect until she lost weight. Yes, I stopped hanging out with her and such. I would never have dated her in either case. She was in theatre and I'm sure my fantasy of her would be better than the real thing.Without sounding douchey, the first thing that anyone notices about you will be your looks. Psychological studies have proven that attractive people get better treatment from people. This isn't even on purpose, most of the time its just an automatic mental reaction to a stimulus that is endorsed by society. Don't blame men for that one. Think of it this way a couple hundred of years ago, large women got the same treatment you are now because size was associated with affluence. If anything at all blame the stereotypes for attractiveness that have been set for the guys you ahve to deal with.
I can only speak for myself, but I don't think that is shallow. My roommate is like 6'4" tall and well built, it's no surprise girls pay him more attention than me (I'm 5'5" and average build). Do I think that is shallow? Well, not really, I've come to realize sometimes that's just the way things are. Girls like taller guys; guys like skinnier girls. I'd be willing to bet serious money that if I hit a freak growth spurt and shot up to 6' tall I'd definitely get more looks and attention from girls. Now that you've lost weight, you're healthier, which is the best benefit of losing weight. Looking better is a bonus, I'm not sure why you are complaining. It makes sense that if you look better, then you'll be more attractive to guys and therefore get more attention.
Why are we so shallow? The answer is so simple. It's because of the same reason girls are so damn complicated. Answer that one, and maybe you'll find the answer you're looking for. :3
But come on now... at first sight, we don't know anything about you. You expect us to hold doors, make small talk, and ask for the number of girls we aren't even attracted to? Everyone judges people to a certain point by how they look. They might not treat you bad because of it, but they won't really be extra nice to you, either. Looking good means you'll have more charisma, that's all.I'm sure it's hard. But before you rush to judgement, consider you're preferences... All over this board there are girls who gush about out some guy is "sooooooo hooooooooooot!" I personally have been on the receiving end of that sort of thing, too, where girls would reject me because I wasn't a better physical speciman. Girls are frequently calling the overweight or less-physical guys who approach them "creepy" while they giggle and gush when a Taylor Lautner look-alike comes up to them. It's the law of sexual and physical attraction.
Frankly, get over it.
Would you rather that guys still ignore you and not make small talk? Or would you like to change reality and have those guys pay attention to you when you were heavier? If the fact that they are now attracted to you makes you not want to be with any of them I suggest two things: 1) don't be with them 2) gain the weight back.of course we are, we aren't built the same as girls, we don't care that much about personality, we just want wild sex. unless we are talking about relationships, than a couple other factors come into play, but yeah, if you were pretty and curvy you shouldn't have had a problem, as long as you take care of yourself (eat well, dress well, have a job, and be nice person) you should have no problem getting guys. unless you are one of those like "womens rights" girls. guys hate girls like that, because they go on and on and about things we don't care about. just be nice, don't start conflict, dress well, eat well, and all will be fine. most girls just sit there and complain about how they are over weight and blame guys for being shallow and low lives. anything good in life has to be earned, those girls need to get off their ass's and go to the gym. It's no different for guys, it's like 3-4 hours out of your week to look healthy, do it.
I have two answers for you.
First, lots of guys are shallow. It comes from a sinful nature and it is wrong, but it's still common.
Second, lots of guys are more interested in a girl who's willing to put forth effort to take care of her body. Not that she always has to be working out and running and dieting, but if she's moderately active and generally eating healthy so as to maintain a good weight, that says a lot about how disciplined she is, and discipline is a great characteristic to look for in a potential wife.i could say the same about girls, I mean I'm 5 ft 7 220 and I was 5 ft 7 235 and already people are noticing me more, especially girls. A lot of people both male and female are shallow and only care about looks, especially between teh ages of 14-25 for most people (although for some until 30, even 40). Its just the way it is, but don't just blame guys
You were one thing and guys weren't interested in you, then you changed and now guys are interested in you. There is nothing unfair or even surprising about this. Any guy here could prove the exact same about women by throwing together a bum outfit and asking a bunch of girls out. Everyone has standards, it's not somehow more condemnable for guys to have them than anyone else.
evey guy has his own tastes when it comes to women and not so long ago skinny women were not that popular so if you don't fit into someone's criteria just move on, don't start wasting your time judging people because it's not gonna change their tastes.
not all of us are shallow its just guys are just attracted to certain types of girls, not by choice usually either. To be fair girls can be shallow to liking guys who are ripped, six packs and stuff. I believe its just how people are driven by lust and love.
I wouldn't say it's guys only. I'd say it's guys and girls. Let's face it, if you're pretty and you have all the hunks running after you, I'm sure you'd pick the most handsom one.
Yeah I'm sure you are going out looking for ugly fat guys now that you're getting attention elsewhere. It's human nature. We all just need to be honest with ourselves. Girls and guys. Shallow has nothing to do with being attracted to someone or not.
well, it all depend's on personality and job occupation if you go to a machnic he will be super nice if your his costumer but when he has tousand's of employee's coming to him he will only do the work's that take time but give more profit on his end not just an oil change certain thing's take certain amount of time so that's the same with people.
Its the way guys are, females are the same way too, We all are. The first thing we notice is looks. You're telling me if you saw a cute guy in class or something you wouldn't be more inclined to talk to him?
guys are visual creatures. but not all guys are shallow. you just need to do some searching and rejecting before you find the right one.
If guys cared nothing about looks, we'd all just bang our best bros because we actually understand each other and aren't as complicated as quantum physics.
be thankful! jkjk
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