I worked with a guy friend of mine on a temporary 6 week gig. During the first week of work he broke up with his live in girlfriend of 2 years. I have known him about the same length of time, except our interactions were basically me attending his music gigs here and there, but he would always come say hi and thank me for coming or have a grin on his face if he saw me dancing to one of his songs. I admit I had a little crush on him because of his talent and sweet personality, but never thought I'd be any prospect. So anyway here we are working together and he tells me that he and gf broke up. He didn't seem too shaken up about it, which made me a little wary, but he said that it was a long time coming.
Because of the work situation we had a lot of close interaction and a lot of time spent together but usually with other people. There was one night were we just sat up till the early hours talking. He is a very sweet and gentle person, and very talented.
I began thinking he might be interested in me because of little physical interactions like touching my hand, back rub,hugging me out of the blue, kissing me on the cheek, and giving me warm compliments all the time. I would always smile at him and he would smile back, find ways to touch his hand, basically try to return his affection with positive responses. I felt we had a connection especially since we both have artistic interests and have encouraged each other to pursue our artistic mediums and be more confident in our talents.
After the job was over I had a planned trip where I would be away for a few weeks. My friend wished me good travels and we kept in touch through some email where he wanted me to contact him when I got back to tell him stories of my travels. He even kept a C.D. I lent him specifically so I could get it from him when I returned(his words).
So since I've been back (and not near where he lives and not working together anymore) I've only had a couple of interactions with him in person (a party, and me attending one of his gigs) and only one phone conversation with him. He hasn't invited me to hang out with him alone at all, only to come see him play at his music gigs(which is fine, but I can't always go to them).
So I'm wondering if I was deluding myself about him being interested? Or maybe he just needs more time to deal with his breakup? I feel like I've been the one contacting him most of the time, and keep thinking about the "rule" if he's interested he'd call. But he has only sent text messages about his gig. And most recently I was sick of waiting for him to contact me, so I called him(no answer) and left him a pretty neutral "hey what's up, give me a ring sometime" friendly message(because we are friends at least). But he hasn't called, texted or anything and it's been 5 days. But 2 weeks since I actually have seen him in person. Am I being impatient/paranoid? Even if he wasn't interested romantically, I still consider him a friend.
Update: Went to see friend play the other day, I got him to laugh during a song and he was glad we were there, but I felt this distance. However he mentioned he booked plane fare to Jazz fest in NOLA, and that I should book a flight too. Confused.
More than a year ago
Guys always tell other girls that they broke up with their girlfriends (or wives) all the time, just to get some extracurricular activity from them (it's a pretty old trick along the same lines as removing a wedding ring on boys night, or just plain denying you even have a girlfriend). He may have been telling the truth, or he may not have. But it's pretty obvious that if he was rubbing you in any way, than he was probably interested (in something). More than likely he wasn't interested in anything serious or permanent, because the bottom-line is, and as the "rule" suggests. He ain't rubbing you now.
No, he is not a liar and wasn't interested in "getting something". I just felt we had gotten close and just wonder why all of sudden there would be a communication blockage, since we at least are friends. - More than a year ago
Answerer
Well if you guys really are just friends, then you shouldn't be too offended if he doesn't call or write back for a while. (friends always take a back seat to significant others, or "friends-with-benefits" - which is probably what's causing the "blockage" - More than a year ago
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: More than a year ago
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