It seems to me that sex is a very special thing and engages all kinds of emotions and intricate spiritual connections. As such, a one-time thing will mess with your head and touch areas of your life that will leave you feeling more empty and vulnerable than before. Please guard your heart and don't let some guy use you for sex. You may be lonely and wanting some kind of affection, but giving yourself away won't help you in that regard. Wait for a guy who truly cares about you and will love you for who you are.
On a more pragmatic note, there's always a danger of getting pregnant or an STD. Nothing is 100% effective. So I honestly wouldn't have sex with anyone you wouldn't be willing to share either one of those things with.
Also, what is going through the guy's mind? He's just using you for his own selfish pleasure. You may be trying to fill a void in your heart, but you'll likely be another conquest. Even if you feel that there is something more than sex there, he could just be blowing some serious smoke up your skirt just to get into your pants. On your end, it seems that it's just not worth it, no matter how good the sex would be.
A lot of philosophical questions can be analyzed by viewing them for the self and for the other. For example, "Is it okay to steal food from the store when I'm starving? " For me, yes, that's fine. "Is it okay for my friend Bob, or my son Joe, to steal food from the store when he's starving? " Again, I say yes.
This is one of the interesting areas where becoming a parent changes people's world-view dramatically. Plenty of people raise their kids with rules that they themselves did not follow (no underage drinking or drugs, don't be a teenie bopper sex hound, be home by 10:30, etc. ) because the view of what's best, safest, and most desirable changes when the long term interests of the other are brought into consideration.
Imagine you had a 16 or 17 year old daughter. Would you want her having one night stands with this year's version of the Spur posse? And, if not, then why would you want to apply standards to your own life that make you uncomfortable envisioning for someone you love and whose interests are your only concern?
In my opinion a one night stand is beneath me. I expect my relationships to be good on a physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual level. One night stands sell out everything but the physical side. And, if you come down with an STD or unwanted pregnancy, they sell that out too.
I've passed on a few of these in my lifetime and I can't say I have any regrets about it.
The real question is, "What kind of woman do you want to be? " Do you want to be a booty call, or do you want to be girlfriend material? A girl who has one night stands, her value as a girlfriend goes down to me.
Thank you so much for your opinion. I have been talking to a lot of people and now I know what my choices will be. I know for a fact that I don't want to be a booty call so thanks for helping me find out what I stand for! - 6 months ago
Answerer
It's definitely hard hun. Because now a days, booty calls and one night stands are almost seem like they're the "norm," but they're not. If I find out a girl is having or just had sex with a guy, that's a turnoff, and I guarantee you I wouldn't be interested in dating her. Why go for someone like that, when there are girls who aren't sleeping around? Would you rather have a guy that's a male slut, or a guy that doesn't sleep around? - 6 months ago
NO they are extremely destructive and entirely degrading in all ways, emotionally, physically and spiritually and causes allot of issues in the future and even when you think about them or fantisize it causes allot of issues which makes life hell. Sex should be between those loved and with that special someone you know you would never leave and be fully satisfied with. If you have it now with a random person, all future romantic relationships and especially marriage will have allot of issues, hurt and toil. Sex creates a physical bond with the other and that creates the union of marriage (in the flesh) not standing and giving vows.
Once you do it the chances of doing it again grows abundantly, like falling addictive to drugs, you get cursed and it takes allot to get over it. There are some people who live off of the "power" they feel or gain from sleeping around, but they are cursed and fall sick when they try to stop, it is basically like getting addicted to drugs. Don't do it, for your own self worth, and it doesn't matter what the media or someone else says about it.
Thank you so much for your advice. I have decided I don't want to be just some kind of "booty call" to someone I want to be loved so thank you so much for helping find what kind of values I stand for! - 6 months ago
Answerer
Amen ;) Always stand true to the virtues in life, no matter the odds! They take you further than ever and make life a joyful journey with no regret. Thank you for your answer, it gives me hope in return. - 6 months ago
I would never have a one night stand. When I sleep with someone, I want it to be with someone I love. Not some random guy I'm never going to see again afterwards or who isn't interested in a relationship. I refuse to be a booty call.
While I wouldn't do so myself, I will not tell someone they are a bad person for having a one-night stand. But it does change my opinion of that person. A person who has one-night stands looks at relationships and sex much differently than I do, and yeah, it's going to affect how I see you. It's not my place to say if it's "okay" or not, but it is going to have an impact on how you are viewed. But I've got to say that at your age, a one-night stand is an especially bad idea, from a physical and emotional health standpoint. If you're choosing to have sex at your age, my advice is to stick to sex within relationships.
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