Why do we hate each other?

Yes this is bad, but it's not beyond repair.

It sounds as though your mother has grown up without having learned how to fight like in adult, and in raising you, she has passed these values down.

My mother and I used to fight like this constantly when I was younger, until I realized that us screaming at each other solved absolutely nothing. The solution? YOU need to learn how to fight fair, and hope that she can pick up on your cues and eventually figure it out for herself.

The main goal for you should be to remain calm and rational during fights. Don't yell, don't storm off, don't give her the silent treatment, and choose your battles wisely. If she begins to yell, tell her nicely that you'd like to understand where she's coming from, but it's difficult to do when she's raising her voice. Tell her that you'd like to solve the problem so that you're both happy, without having a legitimate row.

When something like the situation you mentioned happens, take a step back and say, "Mom, we would not be fighting right now if you had simply asked me politely if I had your flashdrive. The answer is no, I don't, but I will help you look for it." Always be solution oriented and discuss options that will please both of you.

By showing her that you, her daughter, are mature enough to fight fair, compromise, and solve problems rather than create them, she may come around and realize that she is flying off the handle far too often.

Good luck!

Sounds like a pretty tough situation. I'd tell my mom that I'd have to talk to her and let her know why I have an issue with her, and if she blows it out of proportion that's immaturity on her part. Just be the bigger man/girl and let her know why she makes you angry and find a safe zone where you both can be and not have tension, you 2 should love each other not hate. I wish you the best of luck :)

Umm, yea that's actually horrible and I'm sorry you two fight like that, but have you tried seeing things from her perspective? I mean she's probably really stressed about her classes and just paniced and possibly when you fired back at her (in defense) it may have caused her anger to intensify, just a thought, but maybe if possible try just not fighting back and as calmly as possible let her know you didn't take it or misplace it, but you'd help her try to find it to diffuse the anger toward you and possibly set in her in an overall better mood toward you and standing of you in her eyes, also that way next time she gets mad and you try to help you work toward strengthening the two of your relationship and make both of your lives easier.

I know just taking attacks and yelling and stuff can be EXTREMELY difficult if not nearly impossible, but it tends to help easy things throughout life, at least it has for me. I hope this helps.

Yeah, using your sister to communicate with your mother is bad. Best thing to do is not yell back. Try to remain calm, I know it's hard as hell...trust me. Or leave the room. Get out of the situation before you say something.
But other than that I can't really say anything, because some people just hate some people. I don't know why, it might just be how they were raised. I'm really sorry, but just try to avoid confrontation.

This is part of becoming a fully-grown human being: butting heads with people until you begin to realize that change is in your hands alone.

I have the exact opposite thing to you- I don't get on with my father. All I can say is that I tried everything to get on with him but he just provokes me and makes me incredibly angry. Especially with little things. he always tries to undermine me in little ways and pick on my insecurities and generally try to bring me down. People are saying "oh try to be reasonable with her etc" but they haven't a clue what they're on about. Some people are just incredibly hard to get on with. Like I love my father [because he is my father and it is almost instinctive, I can't help it unfortunately] but he's just a destructive force in my life and will cause me emotional pain. He's like that with everyone, not just me so I know its not my fault. He just has a major attitude problem. And people don't change, you can only change yourself. I would say distance yourself as much as possible from her and when you can, get enough money to leave home and just don't come back! Don't let her upset you!

me and my mom sometimes are like that-especially if I don't do what she says. my mom does care btu she's super strict because of my dad not being in my life a whole lot therefore what did I do? I chose a time to break from her, where ijust got more busy with school or work and friends and once I got over the incident, I'd try to talk to her again. I'm pretty easy going in terms of relationships so, yeah jus towrk on it

i know you won't want to do this but just try.

1st. don't yell back. just talk in your normal voice while she yells at you. itll make her think she sounds like an idiot. BUT don't talk calmly like you just don't care, that would just make her more mad.

2nd talk it through to her. tell her, "your my mom, why can't you just love me?" and if she tells you that she does love you...just tell her "well the way you treat me, you don't show it very well" and if she freaks out, use that as a point. tell her good moms wouldn't burst on their kids if they loved them.

3rd. the worst thing to do is to fight back beacsue fire plus fire just makes a bigger fire. be the cool water and help her cool down when she's doing that

4th. most likely she just takes her stress and problems out on you because your actually the one she's most comfortable. is she like this to your sister too?

i really hope this helps and I realllly hope you decide to take my advice!

xox
rachael

that's exactly how my mom and I are. we always are yelling at each other. and she'll call me a spoiled brat, and how much she hates me. she'll call me a hoe, bitch, and that I don't deserve any of the things I get. I'll yell right back. I know it sucks now, but she'll come to her senses sooner or later.

Yeah this is an extreme case.