I'm sorry. You're right, recognize the feelings, then accept it, and ''declare'' to yourself and the ''world'' that this is only for now, that your future will be different.
And that you are learning a lot from these difficulties, and will appreciate much more your new better reality when it comes the time. (But you have to believe on it, believe it's possible,make it happen)!
You can't control/change the fact that you are poor now, since you're 18, but you know that you are responsible for your own future, and if you don't want to your life to continue like this, you can change it, it IS possible.
You can start to plan on how you'll achieve your goals and dreams... I say: study hard, work hard, continue being decent and honest, and also grateful for everything you have, like health and family.
Don't waste your energy thinking on things that you don't have, because you'll only attract more of these bad things and it won't make resolve the situation.
Try to only imagine your goals, your happyness, your dreams becoming true, and most important of all: make it happen, do your part when you have the opportunity. Don't give up.
Let all this disappointment, depression and bad energy change/become as a motivation to a new life, make a change, and have faith on your destiny.
If you're a christian, than you know that you can always count on Jesus, on the bad and good moments. He won't let you down.
But if you're not a believer, I respect that, but it's important to talk to someone you *trust*, because life is not, and sometimes we need a support to keep going.
Remember you CAN change it, focus on that and follow your dreams, working on them, in order to make it reality.
I translated, a beautiful brazilian music, because the lyrics is deep and will probably make you feel better :) link
Legiao Urbana - Mais uma vez (one more time).
"But it's obvious that the sun is gonna return tomorrow..one more time, I know.
I already saw worse darkness, that make people insane.
There's people that is on the same side of yours, but they should be on the opposite site.
There's people who hurt the others, there's people that don't know how to love.
There's people that may be betraying us, you can notice how our life is...
But one day, we learn that if you need someone to believe, believe in yourself.
Those who believe, achieve.
But it's obvious that the sun is gonna return tomorrow, I already saw worse darkness, that make people insane.
Wait, that ''the sun'' is coming.
Never let anyone to tell you that is not worth to believe on your dreams, or that your plans won't work, or that you will be nobody.
There's people that hurt the others, there's people that don't know how to love.
But I know that one day, we learn,that if you need someone to believe, believe in yourself.
Those who believe, always achieve; Those who believe, always achieve; Those who believe, always achieve."
I have to go back to work now lol Bye, I wish you all the best!