Okay so I've been dating a guy for technically 9 months we broke up for about 2 months, and recently got back together . Every thing's been great but it's like every thing's becoming routine . He comes over when he's free and we watch a movie . Our relationships always been very sexual but lately he's been trying to push away from that . For example he knows I hate using condoms but lately he's been pushing them even though I'm willing to get on the pill . I feel like I'm a major turn off to him but when I ask him about it he just says I'm crazy and I'm a major turn on to him he just wants our relationship to be more than that . I've tried making it more emotional but we never really have anything to talk about on the phone . How do I bring the spark back to the relationship ? I don't feel like we're falling apart or anything I just miss the magic . Thanks
Well I don't think you lost the magic you just need to learn how to get into what each other likes to do and I mean in everyday life . It sounds like he's testing himself to see if he likes you for more than your body . Or maybe he's forcing himself to like you for more . One thing though if you want him more into it you should at least act like you need it . Like you crave sex . That would make him stop holding back I know that would work on me .
At your age, many people have difficulty understanding the difference between love and sex . It seems to me that your relationship is currently being held together by sex . This could explain why it might run hot and cold--sex might be the only thing that you two have in common .
His desire to minimize the sexual stuff and focus on the relationship should be seen as a positive . He wants to find out if you two are really compatible on a higher level . The "magic" you mention might have been the initial spark that began the relationship . Those sorts of crazy feelings fade with time, and you're left with the true "meat" of the relationship . How you deal with each other in your worst, most indifferent moods will reveal whether or not your relationship has long-term potential .
You'll both need to put more effort into the relationship if you want it to work . Otherwise, it will become stale . If he's not willing to put more effort into the relationship, then it may be time for you to move on .
Ok about you said about how we deal with each other at are worst . We're always there for each other . Like when I'm upset or mad he always knows how to talk me through it or just be there when I need him . Also like sometimes I randomly stop breathing and sometimes it makes him cry because he's so worried I won't regain it . I don't think sex was it all I just think that school and work puts a drain on both of us . The summer was perfect . How do I bring summer back even though it's still winter . - 3 months ago
Answerer
Ah, I understand . You're both dealing with other concerns that take away your time to work on the relationship . Luckily for you, the winter is almost over . Just be sure to spend the time wisely that you do have together now . - 3 months ago
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