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Quackpotty

If you could change something about a friend's personality, what would it be?

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Quackpotty (Age:18 to 24)     When: A month ago
Views: 245     Category: Behavior
Please also say if it is a guy friend, or girl friend, and why you'd want to change it.
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polkadotconverse123
182  
polkadotconverse123 (Age:Under 18)      When: 15 days ago
My boyfriend
because he is into pda and I'm not. I wish he would be a little more private
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sgl2997
98  
sgl2997 (Age:Under 18)      When: 19 days ago
My boyfriend.
I wish I didn't get so nervous around him b/c then I would kiss him but my stupid nerves get in the way and the only reason I want to kiss him is because he won't I mean I don't think he knows that I want to but I do but I don't want to tell him
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peachy853
125  
peachy853 (Age:Under 18)      When: 24 days ago
Well I'm a girl and I would change my guy friend by him being so assured.
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LiL-LAH
202  
LiL-LAH (Age:18 to 24)      When: 26 days ago
Girl mate: How she likes the guys that want me at parties. She knows I put my mates first which is why if I don't want them then she know I won't mind if she has them. Even for one night. Yep got to change that habit of hers. But I still love her even when she takes my scraps lol
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goingbananaz
127  
goingbananaz (Age:Under 18)      When: 28 days ago
My girl friend. I'm guessing we're not equal in her eyes, because some things are perfectly fine when she does them & totally unacceptable when I do! Not cool.
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bella5624
98  
bella5624 (Age:Under 18)      When: A month ago
Selfishness.
All of my girl friends have it, even my best friend.

I'd give the shirt off my back for my friends, do just about anything if I was able too, but sometimes when I need a small favor it just seems too much to ask. Or they call me crying with guy problems or whatever, and when I need a shoulder to cry on I have no one who I can really vent to.
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Question Asker Ouch. Have you confronted them on it? It's not easy to want to speak to someone and not have anyone there who'll listen. - A month ago
Answerer No, I haven't . I guess I really don't know how to. I guess I am just trying to see if they'll figure out on their own I'm always there when they need me, and what happens when I need them. I'm in a new city and don't have many friends at all. I can pretty easily distance myself, but it's just hard to stick to it when I don't have anyone else besides my man. - A month ago
Question Asker Friends fill a hole that no boyfriend or girlfriend ever could. Sure, they may be a good friend too, but they can't fill some holes at all in your life. I hope that you can work it out. Sometimes though some people can be so insensitive to how they're hurting others, even if you tell them or drop hints they don't realize it. I hope that your friends will fill the hole in your life that friends should, and that you can continue to be the same to them. - A month ago

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ohanaya
183  
ohanaya (Age:18 to 24)      When: A month ago
I wouldn't want to change anything about any of my friends, because even if I don't like a particular aspect of who they are, it still is a part of what defines them. If I changed anything, they wouldn't be the person I've become friends with. Part of a friendship is accepting the bad things as well as good the things you like about a person.
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Question Asker Nice answer. Isn't there anything that rubs you up the wrong way? At all?
Cute avatar, by the way. Is that puppy yours? Surely there's something puppies do that you don't like at all and makes you wonder why you got it (he/she? ) in the first place? - A month ago
Answerer Oh there are certainly things about my friends that rub me the wrong way. But unless they fixed those things of their own volition, I would never want to "magically" fix them. No one is perfect, and your flaws are an important part of who you are.

I love dogs, that one isn't mine, but I'm hoping to get a puppy after I graduate in may. And I can tell you I hate cleaning up after animals, but I love dogs enough that its a sacrifice that is more than easy to make. - A month ago
Question Asker If you saw a friend going into something that would seriously hurt them, like drugs or cutting or something else like that, would you want them to change that then? Surely. If that same sort of self-destructive behaviour is in their personality, would you want to change that? Surely then too? Sure, flaws make up an important part of any person, but it isn't them entirely, is it?

Yeah, cleaning up after a puppy isn't my favorite. Got a German Shepherd myself, and she was a handful at first. - A month ago
Answerer In the case where someone is being self destructive, you can only really help someone who wants help. If you want to give help in any other case, its much more of an intervention than just offering help. But in general, if you have a friend with a problem, unless they can see why hurting themselves is bad, they won't help themselves.

There gets to be a point where their self destruction starts to hurt you too, and that's when you have to really decide if the friendship is worthwhile. - A month ago
Question Asker Good answer and well deserving of the best answer. It is up to them to want to change when they need to do so. You can't do it for them, and you can't force them to do so either. Thanks! - A month ago

AshleyL
1450  
AshleyL (Age:25 to 29)      When: A month ago
I would change my best friend's personality of always being late and nonchalant. She is ALWAYS late and never calls to tell me that. She has to be the most unreliable person I know. Funny, because she is going to be the maid of honor at my wedding, but she is definitely not planning my bachelorette party. That's really the only friend I would want to change.
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Question Asker You're getting married? Congratulations!
Okay, I'd have to say that you would hate to live in Africa. There's a big joke here about 'African time'. In Africa, time means very little to some people. If you meet someone on the street and you ignore them because you're in a hurry, it is very rude. It doesn't matter if you're needing to be somewhere in 5 minutes. People get wherever they need to be when they do. GRR!
Personally I hate it when people are late, so I agree with you. - A month ago
Answerer Thank you. Yep, getting married next year! I have to say people who say they are going to be somewhere at a certain time and then show up 30 min later. Is a huge pet peeve of mine. I will have to tell my friend, the maid of honor, that my wedding is like hours before the actual time, so she will be there! :-) - A month ago
Question Asker Lol. That's exactly what we have to do with some people here. South Africa is likely the most westernized country in Africa, but it is still an issue. It really gets to me too. - A month ago

missne
199  
missne (Age:30 to 35)      When: A month ago
Best male friend:
I'd like him to be a bit more lighthearted, just a tad less introverted, so he can connect with people easier and let them into his life.

Best female friend:
I'd like her to be less neurotic and aggressive towards people she doesn't know, and learn to trust people a bit more, give them the benefit of a doubt once in a while.

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Question Asker For your best male friend, I can definitely admire that. Having been there and, to tell you the truth, still being there, I respect you for that. Do you have a plan on how you'd like to see that done? Going to comedy movies and laughing about them can help, maybe?

Has your best female friend had something happen in her past that made her like that? For me, that is definitely the case. I don't trust easily because of my past. I suppose she needs to meet many people to get comfortable around 'em - A month ago
Answerer MF: I hope it will get easier for him when he moves to a university town, where he can meet more people who are like him. He needs someone intellectual and sensitive but fun.

FF: She has had some bad experiences, but nothing worse than the next person. I guess she's just very sensitive and insecure, and explosive at the same time. She needs a lot of reassurance and attention to feel wanted and "seen" by people, and most aren't like that with everyone they meet.
- A month ago
Question Asker MF: Good way to meet people. By 'someone intellectual and sensitive but fun' do you mean a girlfriend? That'd likely work wonders. It would also help to care and bring out the best in him.

FF: That's an interesting combination in a person. It's not bad, but it can lead to making things worse. Being like that can make people think that nobody is going to care about them. Unfortunately, as you said, most people won't give them the attention that's needed. It's not a good thing at all. - A month ago

Lovely-One
251  
Lovely-One (Age:18 to 24)      When: A month ago
My best friend (girl) all I would want to change with her is her GUCCI dreams and her WAL-MART budget! She constantly wants to take trips and buy things that she knows she can't afford, and always asks me if I want to go with her on the trips. Of course I would have to pay and being the walmart budgeter I am, I know damn well I'm not going!
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Question Asker Aren't there reasonable rip-offs? Or is that a dirty word? The sort that'd get me hunted down and burned at the stake for heresy?
What does she say when you say to cool it, or have you yet to say anything? It's hard to try to get someone else to see reason when they're determined to live in their own world. - A month ago
Answerer I tell her every time she comes up with a new outing whether or not I can afford it, and if it is something that lavish that she wants to buy or a trip to go on, I ask how she can afford it and she tells me credit cards! I mean is fine if she wants to be in debt, but keep me out of it! Lol - A month ago
Question Asker Debt. Not cool. Not a bit. It's a new form of slavery. You go from one type of debt to another and you never reap any rewards apart from more debt. What Fun! Yay! Lol.
Doesnt she see the nasty tax man following her with a growing bill in his hands? He's a stalker that the police won't chase away. She'll be stuck with him and her banker for the rest of her life trying to sell everything just to survive. Hmm, I'm over-reacting. A bit. But does she not see how serious debt really is? Blind, anyone? - A month ago

Miss-October
402  
Miss-October (Age:25 to 29)      When: A month ago
I have a female friend who is selfish and expects us "the girls" to cater to her every need like we are her boyfriends. That makes me not want to hang out with her that much.
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Question Asker What sort of needs are those? Some things guys don't really cater well to. Often it's the girl friends that will do the whole talk about what happened on the last date rather than the boyfriend that was there. Girl friends are there for a reason, so is she doing something that is not for girl friends or is it actually for you as one of them? Is it something that you need to confront her on? - A month ago

sgl2997
98  
sgl2997 (Age:Under 18)      When: A month ago
If I could change one thing about my boyfriend it would be that I wish he was more affectionate towards me.
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Question Asker That's a sad thing to read. All boyfriends should be totally affectionate to their girlfriends, and it's really sad to hear that he isn't being that. Surely though he is some of the time at least? Perhaps he just doesn't know how to be more affectionate, or maybe he is a little shy about it? Why not try making things a little more affectionate between you by organizing something special just for the two of you? Nobody ever said that it was entirely the guy's responsibility to be the romantic. - A month ago
Answerer Ya but we are kinda young as in 7th grade. I just don't know what more affectionate would even be but I don't know how to drop the hint either. - A month ago
Question Asker Grade 7? You're right, that is really young. I see you're sixteen though, so that's not too young. I don't know too much about relationships, but what I do know is affection. It can mean anything from cuddling to just showing you he cares. It can be the big things he does, like maybe organize romantic walks along the beach with a picnic, or it can be small things like when he sends you cards in school without you expecting it. Its the way he loves on you, all the way to sharing his all with you. - A month ago
Answerer I really also want him to kiss me because we have been going out for 5 months and he hasn't but I don't know how to drop a hint on that one either. And don't forget 7th grade - A month ago
Question Asker O_0
He hasn't kissed you yet?!?! After five months? I can't really say very well from experience, as (here's a secret, just between you, me, and a million other people lol) I haven't been kissed yet either. At all. What I do know about it though is that it should be spontaneous. Maybe when you're just coming from a date and you lean in close and, erm, okay, I don't know after that. I suppose it'll happen just by you leaning in that he'll catch the drift. He's likely nervous too. - A month ago
Answerer Ok but see we can't drive so really the only dates we go on are like the movies, with other people. - A month ago
Question Asker Who says dating has to use a car? Surely you can also go for walks to a beach (I don't know where Tennessee is in USA) or in a park. A picnic can be loads of fun, and romantic too. Great thing for creating more intimacy and all those lovely 'aww' moments. I suppose that you just need to find out what you both find that is fun, and you'll get there soon. Mix it up a little. Enjoy it while you do. Be spontaneous and good luck! - A month ago
Answerer Ok thanks but he isn't really in to that kind of stuff? - A month ago
Question Asker What is he into? There's opportunities open for everyone that'll just look hard enough. - A month ago