I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months. Knew him for approximately one year before that but only met once and chatted on the phone a lot. We spend every weekend together and he never wants me to leave. Takes me out for dinner, cooks for me etc etc This gives me all the right signs. BUT he doesn't cuddle or show much affection. I have asked him about this and he says cuddles etc is for when people love each other. I know he has had an unhappy childhood.
What is the problem? Is it just a friends with benefits situation? Is he waiting for me to confirm my feelings for him? (I would like to know his feelings for me first though) Is he behaving this way due to his past?
Update: I spent Friday night at his place. Before I always thought he didn't want me touching him but I don't know why I thought this. Perhaps because it wasn't reciprocated, however, I asked him this time and he said no, I never mind you touching me:-)
3 months ago
I'm sure his past has something to do with it. Remember to take things slow. Some people don't require or see the use for very much affection. My ex husband was this way and I accepted it. After we divorced, I was attracted to men who were a bit more affectionate. But I grew up in a very loving, affectionate household.
Well, give him a chance. He seems to be showing you affection in other ways. He cooks, spends lots of time with you. I would say try to be accepting of his ways of showing affection. A man doesn't cook for a woman he has no feelings for, hint hint.
His past probably has a lot to do with it. He's probably insecure and scared. Maybe he's afraid of becoming vulnerable and getting hurt. Just give him time and don't pressure him. Make subtle body contact like sitting close and brushing your leg against his. It sounds kind of juvenile but I think that's the approach you may have to take with people that have a wall put up high.
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What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
I pretty much always start out with a friendly greeting. I follow that up with a comment or question relating to where we are (club, amusement park, etc...). After that, just find out whether she is there with other people and what they are up to that evening. If the conversation to that point goes well, I then ask her/them if they want to join me/us and take it from there.
How do they typically respond?
With this approach, I have had success (I would say at least 2/3 of the time) and it might have to do with the genuine attempt to get to know them. Its important to display a calm and confident approach because its those brief moments in which a girl decides whether to deny you or is left intrigued by you and is wanting more.
(Age:36 to 45)
When: 3 months ago
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