Hi, actually 16 born in 91 not 81 anyway. I dated this amazing girl for 14 months. The first 5-6 were the best of my life. But then my life hit a lot of bumps and things weren't all too well and I regrettably took it out on her. NOT PHYSICALLY. So we got a job together, mistake I know, and there was this guy there who was always flirting with her. She flirted back, eventually they were alone together and I had my suspicions. So we break up, not only because she cheated (which I had no actual proof of. Then) but because she didn't want me; she didn't call me for days or make any way to contact, she had fits over stupid things; treated me like shit but I still loved her. So we split, I cried, terrible day. My best friend came back from Kansas later that week (4 days of sitting at home alone crying on spring break. Not fun) he was great, all there for me and stuff. To help me get over her he set us up with these two girls. Fast forward two weeks I'm dating this new girl. She shows no real interest in me, and that's all I want. I'd do anything for my girlfriend. I love having one and being able to try to be the best boyfriend ever. I know I can do better then this girl I'm dating but I don't know what to do. I want the old Her back but that's not gonna happen. I see her everywhere and it just makes it harder. How can I get over her? What do I do?
Well she claimed that it was a quality she liked. I mean that first 12 months obviously couldn't have been a total failure. She stayed right? Thx for the advice - 2 months ago
Bro I would realize that things are totally different now. true, you guys had a great time together, but things and people change - nothing ever stays the same. so I would cherish those memories and be thankful for that time, but then I would realize that you can't have that back. there's nothing wrong with longing for old times, but expecting them to happen again is definitely unrealistic.
as far as this new girl goes, don't waste her time or yours. you're only looking to get hurt and mess with her head. spend some time alone regrouping yourself and investing in yourself with time alone. realize how you're better because of your past relationship, and figure out what you can improve on. then, when you're truly ready to invest yourself in a particular person (not just 'have a girlfriend') then give it your best shot.
since you're 16, realize that you have a lot of life left to live and a lot of experiences yet to go through. take your time and enjoy the time that you do have, and make sure you use it wisely. wait for a girl you would be willing to spend the rest of your life with (raise kids with, endure hard financial struggles with, go through emotional strains with, and grow old with), and then get after it.
and just for the record, I've seen precious few relationships that begin before 20 actually make it through 25 or get married. take your time and make sure that you're maturing and growing personally, then once you feel like you've got enough stuff together to be able to provide for, serve, lead, and cherish a woman (not a girl), then you'll be pretty close to being ready. just be aware that I will take time (years), but you'll definitely be better for it.
To be honest dude, I have never felt like you, it's going to be hard to get over her, but I'm going to tell you no matter who you go out with there will always be someone better. There is some girl out there right now who is looking for a guy like you. Don't waste your thoughts on that girl who cheated on you (she doesn't deserve a cool guy like you). Instead, focus your energy on other avenues and finding a better girl.
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