Is it ok to not give the "new guy" complete trust as a result of what an ex did?

It is definitely reasonable and it probably will make you a better person on who you choose to date on her on out. That's good that you are protecting yourself if you didn't you guys would take advantage of you and walk all over you. Just look at the bright sides there's not much but it will help later in life.

Of course it's okay to be cautious, but you've got to take a look at the "new guys" perspective.

"She says that she wants to get into a relationship with me, but seems to have trust issues. I wonder why she won't trust me. " Putting trust issues between you and your new guy is inhibiting the relationship. You're putting WAY too much pressure on this new guy for something he never did.

All you can do is be open with him, and expect him to do the same. It doesn't hurt to ask him about his past relationships, why they went wrong, what he did. . . That creates trust. . .

If you put this barrier up to other guys (That might potentially drive them away) You're just letting your ex affect you even after he's gone. Again, this new guy doesn't even have a clue. Please remember to be fair to him.

See if you can relate to this, if it helps:
I used to take french class in 7th grade. I had a really cool teacher. I passed with an A+. It was the class that I used as an outlet for my creativeness. So I thought I really liked french class, and not just the teacher. I was good at it.
I took frech again in 8th grade. I had a really shitty teacher. I started to suck at learning the language. She took the passion right out of the language for me. I barely passed. So I had conflicts over continuing the class. I thought I sucked at french class. Which I didn't. The teacher actually sucked at teaching.

So I took it again, 9th grade, and knew what I was in for. I knew I was getting the shitty teacher. And I realized at that point that it wasn't the trust I put in the teacher-teaching, it was to trust in my effort to teach myself what to look for, and to learn from. And by the time I was in 10th grade, I found one of my hero's. And it happened to be my new french teacher.

So with that story, I think we all are put in positions to learn from. Like with your ex, I bet there was a certain point in time that you did trust him, and then it started to fade. Maybe he started avoiding you, or his responses towards you in conversation on a day to day basis, had a lot less of his personality in his response/became closed off. Then you got to go with your gut instincts and either call it off, or call him out. Like you say you did.

But you shouldn't rule out every guy because of some jerk. Just like, not every teacher teaches the same way, and, everyone acts/carries them self in a different way. You got to weed out the good from the bad. And if he says something, that seems to have meaning behind it, I'd say give him a chance to prove himself trust-worthy. But wait for him to come through on what he says, before you trust him whole heartedly, and even then, over time people change. So I always let their actions speak louder than their words. It's the ones who stick to what they say, that I open up to.

Protecting yourself is reasonable. Being cautious, with an explanation to give is in my opinion, one of the best ways to handle it.

If you're the type to be overly jealous or raging if a guy isn't looking at you 24/7 or wants his alone time is (not that I'm saying you are that type of person) NOT reasonable.

Accusing and treating a person badly without at least some evidence or reasonable gut feeling isn't.

If you can't get past your past, it's much harder to create a future for yourself. Use the bad experience to grow. If you are the type to fall hard for the bad boy, this might encourage you to be more cautious with your heart or to go for better guys.

If you've been cheated on repeatedly, and had some sort of gut feeling every time, you might learn to trust your instincts more.

If you are constantly living your relationships by pure emotion, and it's not working you learn to distance yourself in certain situations a bit, or you learn to think before you speak, etc.

OK so I'm going through the same thing. But I've learned you can't let the past affect the present. Here's what I would do(you don't have to do this if you don't want to)try your best to give the "new guy" a chance to earn your trust. Simply tell him hey now I've had a rocky relationship in the past and its hard for me to put all my heart in you but I'm gonna try. Just get him to promise that he'll never do anything with another girl and he won't keep anything from you. I did this with my "new guy" and we've been together now 5 months our relationship has hit some bumps but its improving. Hope I was help! =]

I'm the same way every guy that I have met I can't get close and when I do I push away from them. But I met a guy a year ago, and he told me he wanted me to earn his trust, etc. And he has been true to me and my trust is finally coming back. It takes time, but you will fine that guy that won't hurt you. Trust me