How do I break it off with my abusive boyfriend???

This is a biggie. I worked in a women's shelter for a while years ago - I know it will be one of the hardest things you'll have to do. Especially with kids involved.

So what you need is a plan of action. Logistically, financially, and emotionally.

Make sure you have enough savings to get you through the process. If he's abusive, it usually means you physically leaving the home and staying somewhere else until assets are settled. Unfortunately.

Stay with family if you think it's safe to do so. If you're afraid for your or your kids safety, go to a women's shelter. They know the drill, they'll keep you safe, and they will facilitate any legal issues you might have in taking your kids with you.

If he's physically abusive, or you're afraid he'll hurt you, just leave. No confrontation necessary - leave him a letter. When you actually do go, he's going to do one of three things. Either he's going to accept it and move on, he's going to lose it and make it as difficult for you as possible, or he's going to try to convince you to come back. Or a combination of the latter two.

Once you're safely away, you need to settle any legal issues like custody, assets etc. Even if you don't go to a women's shelter, if you call one they will give you free advice on what to do here.

The hardest part is going to be staying out of the cycle long term. If he does try to get you back, he'll seem like the sweetest and most radically reformed guy on the planet. And because you care for him you'll REALLY want to believe it. You need to make sure you have people around you who will support you. Friends, family, people to keep you on the right path, keep your head clear and pick you up when you're struggling.

Focus your life on something productive. Go back to school, or get involved in community courses, activities with other people. Things to help you regain your independence. Abusers keep their partners partly through isolation - you need to develop the confidence to know you can stand on your own.

Good luck.