Questions about Being Pregnant

That must be so hard for her! Please t

Question 1: She can go to the doctor now. They'll check the hormones in her pee and see if she's pregnant. They can definitely do its been two months.

Question 2: They'll check her baby's blood type against hers and the possible fathers'. Sometimes it doesn't show anything--like if the two possibilities have the same blood type.

Question 3: I can totally understand that she thinks she won't be able to care for the child. But abortion would be just as heartbreaking as adoption--a higher fraction of women who abort have depression about it than there is for adoption. And there are so many ways it could go wrong, just as in plastic surgery. Besides, there are so many families waiting for babies to adopt, even babies with horrible birth defects, or products of rape, that she wouldn't have to worry about having to take care of it.

And this might sound bad, but it's not just her problem. I believe that there are times when women should be able to have abortions, but they should think about the baby too, because it definitely is alive. At six weeks doctors can already hear baby's brainwaves (http://www. Cbctrust. Com/prenatal. Php), and in only two more months your friend's baby would be able to survive outside the womb and live a perfectly healthy life.

Question 4: Yes, the baby will develop fetal alcohol syndrome. Check out this government website for more info (http://www. Cdc. Gov/ncbddd/fas/).

About your last paragraph, I know what you mean. When people act like they can make other people's decisions, you just want to do the opposite thing so they know you are your own person. But tell her not to let anyone else influence her--to do what they want, or to just do the exact opposite. If she wants to know anything, she can ask, right?

I agree to the fact that it is her body and her choice. Not her family's. She's the one in the long run that is going to have to support the child. And a doctor can tell when she got pregnant by giving her a sonogram if she didn't know when her last period was and as far as drinking its not GOOD but as long as she stops and doesn't continue then the baby will be fine. And the father part can be done in the hosp. When she has the baby just tell her to tell her ob/gyn that she wants a DNA test done at the hosp. On the day of the little blessing is born!

As for if the doctor will be able to tell, how far along she is, yes & no. The doctor can tell from a pregnancy test if she is pregnant and he will have a fairly good idea when the baby was conceived if your friend can tell him when her last period was but it will take an ultra sound to find out how far along she is exactly. If she is not keeping the baby there is no reason to go to the expense of further medical tests.

If she went along with the pregnancy a simple blood test can reveal paternity. She will have to wait until the baby is born and have blood taken from both her and the baby as well as one or maybe both perspective fathers. Then the blood is sent to an independent lab and analyzed it takes about 6 weeks for results, I guess that depends on the work load of the lab doing the test, but be prepared to wait.

Although it may very well be her decision entirely, she may find that everyone who knows about it has a different opinion on what she should do. Caring for a child is a BIG responsibility it changes people entirely, but so does an abortion.

How she tells her family of her plans depends on what kind of people they are. If they are understanding people she needs to explain her situation THE WAY SHE SEE'S IT because they may not be considering her, when they are insisting she keep it, they may only be considering their own moral conflict with abortion. If they are the type of people who are less understanding she may not be able to reason with them at all and then she'll be standing alone with the decision to abort (and that's where you as her friend will come in) Only she can decide if abortion is right for her and it's not right for other people to decide for her. Keep in mind that even with a solid relationship and a good family environment pregnancy can be a very stressful thing. Having a baby alone is not easy, I know this first hand, but I also know it can be done.

As for the drinking it's VERY bad for a fetus especially in the first trimester. It can multiply the chances of birth defects and if this alcohol use continues through the entire pregnancy there is a great chance the baby will have fetal alcohol syndrome.

If she is planning on aborting it there are expenses associated with this as well, and there is a time factor too. The sooner the better. Less emotional attachment , less complications, some clinics will not do an abortion after the first trimester.

I agree completely that she should be able to make up her own mind about this, but I must mention abortion IS NOT a supplement for safe sex and proper birth control methods. Urge your friend to practice safer sex , if she has been with two guys who she thinks could be the father it make me think she may need someone to tell her about the evils of unprotected sex with multiple partners. And as her friend that's you.

Damn, tell your friend she needs to go on Maury Povich and do an episode of "who's my Daddy". Tell her to stop having multiple partners without condom and stop having sex. She is obviously doesn't make good decisions and I feel bad for that baby if she decides to keep it. If she can't make good decisions for herself, imagine the bad decisions she is going to make with the kid and she's drinking excessively? What the hell is wrong with her? It seems like she already made her decision. She is what we like to call a dumb beezy!
Abortion is a huge decision and although I don't believe in it, I believe she has a choice to do what she wants, no matter how dumb and irresponsible they may be.

I would say more, but I don't want seem like a complete @$$hole.

A doctor should be able to tell when she got pregnant because pregnancies follow a certain path of development.

For the other problem, has she considered adoption?