Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half now. Prior to that, we were best friends. I have known him a long time. But, like all other couples we have our ups and downs. Currently, we are in a down.
As most girlfriends do, I know the password for his myspace, facebook, email. Well, the other day I got on his myspace to look around at other people's profiles. There is this girl that has been really close friends with my boyfriend for a very long time. I went on her profile and found a picture of her kissing my boyfriend! In his defense it was on the check. However, this girl is also the person I hate more than anyone else in the entire world.
Of course I confronted my boyfriend about the picture and asked him to ask the girl to take it down. I saw no problem, being that they are best friends and all. However, he refused! Saying it was "no big deal. " But, to me, it was a big deal. The picture bothered me a lot!
So, after our huge fight, we got off the phone. I was telling the situation to my roommate and she wanted to see the picture. So I tried to get be onto his account. BUT he had blocked me out!. (And by "blocking out" I mean he changed his passwords) And not just out of myspace, but out of everything! I was a bit bothered by this gesture and told him so. I know it is not my right to know his passwords, and that was not my argument. I felt like he must be hiding something from me. (However, I know he is completely faithful) After all, I had known his passwords for over a year and he knows all of mine.
Later that night we got into an even larger fight. I started to make some crazy connections, like how he must not care for me if these things that bothered me do not bother him, like all girls do at times. But the worse part came when I began to say how he would be better of without me, thinking that I would some hysterical response saying NO. However, what I got was silence and a lot of "i don't knows. " I was being naggy. I can admit that. However, that night also resulted in use taking a "break. " And by a break I mean no communication at all. Nothing!
I'm so scared now that our relationship is in real trouble. I don't want it to end on such a stupid note. If we do end up breaking our year and half relationship I want it to be for a valid reason. Not some naggy night on my part.
My question is. Was I way out of line to get angry over the picture and him "blocking" me out? And would any guy ruin a relationship just because his girlfriend became temporarily naggy? And do you have any suggestions for me as to making things better or "winning him back"?
You have every right to tell him how you feel, what he does in response should tell you where his priorities are. He obviously values his privacy and freedom over your happiness. You could try and win him back by being his b*tch, or you could try and find a real boyfriend who will put your happiness before his.
I would have probably felt the same as you did after seeing it, but its in the past, and it probably doesn't mean that much to him. Its easy to go off and act crazy during a fight. You aren't thinking straight, and its easy to overreact. Apologize to him, and starting talking to him again. Everything should be OK when you do this. He probably feels as bad as you do about the whole thing!
I would have been upset too. You essentially told him that he can't care about his friend's happiness. The kiss between them (and whatever relationship they had before you) probably doesn't mean so much to him now, but he would like that she posted on her page though. Everyone likes to know someone thinks highly of them. He was also in the wrong for not acknowledging that it made you upset, he could have at least done that much.
If he was comfortable enough in giving you his passwords, then I'd say he was more dedicated to you than you imagine. Try apologizing. Even if he ignores you at first. Just get the message to him, but don't flood him with apologies. Maybe a text, or email, or in person if you can. You probably don't have to "win him back", just let him know you acknowledged you may have gone too far, and you are sorry you overreacted. The first tactic for most men is to avoid a situation that isn't favorable. Once they have been isolated and stewed over things for a bit, they come back around. Giving him a little time might be the answer too.
I last talked to him on Sunday. I know that sounds a bit ridiculous. But considering up until then I talk to him all the time, and prior to us dating we were best friends, its just a really huge change. I just figured he would have called by now. - 5 months ago
The picture shouldn't bother you, it's most likely as he says, a good friend. I have pictures of me and my good girl friends kissing, and I'd probably be a little mad if my girlfriend asked me to take them down. It's really none of your business, and it's not like he was actually doing anything with her. The fact that you're getting mad about the privacy and password changing is a little ridiculous. You really shouldn't have even had access in the first place and you did invade his privacy.
Stop making a big deal out of such small things, he's not in the wrong. You are, and if you keep this up you will lose him I guarantee it.
P.S. I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm just telling you how I see it so you understand. I think you are way out of line. I would have changed my passwords too.
No, I totally understand. You've got the opinion of a guy, and I really appreciate that. And the more I think about it, the more I am beginning to agree with you. What do you think I should do to make it better? - 5 months ago
As to what you can do to make it better, all you can do is tell him you were in the wrong, apologize, and hope he can be as big of a person as you for apologizing. - 4 months ago
Answerer
I like the downrating. - 4 months ago
Answerer
And seriously, f*** you if you think differently then down rate me. - 4 months ago
OMG I went through the exact same situation with my ex boyfriend. He had a picture of some half dressed women on his page. And he was all hugged up on them. Kissing and stuff. Make a long story short. He gave me the " no big deal attitude". We ended up breaking up. I think your boyfriend wanted to break up with you before this incident. He may be seeing this girl and wants to try something with her. Guys always think the grass is greener on the other side. Let him go. If you wine and call him all the time. You'll only give him power over you to hurt you and you will make a fool of yourself. SHOW INDIFFERENCE. Go out with friends. Meet other cute guys. Even post pics of you hugged up with cute guys on your page. (just have fun). BELIEVE ME after he is done with that chick he'll call you back. ,men ALWAYS do. Its up to you whether you take him back. BUT I SUGGEST NOT TO, believe me it may hurt now. But you will look back on it and be glad that you saved yourself the heartache. Plus you will probably find a better guy in no time. Believe me.
Sweetie I would suggest to you to just let him go. If he really cared for you he would at least try everything he could to make something that obviously upsets you go away. If he has nothing to hide, he would not have changed his account passwords. Although if you really believe he is faithful to you and you really want him back, play a little reverse psychology. It works every time. If he loves you and cares about you, it will win him back. Call him up and tell him in a very sad calm voice that you believe that it is wrong to first of all have a picture of himself and another girl kissing, it hurt you and you can't believe he wouldn't understand that. Tell him that you no longer want a break but want to move on and "date other people". Give it some time, do not call or contact him in any way (as hard as it may be) and if he loves you and really wants to be with you, he will come begging. If he does not, take it from me he is no longer interested
You were out of line going and using his password, but this girl could just be a friend. It sounds like he might have wanted this break for awhile and is now talking advantage of the fact you brought it up. Respect his wishes and do not contact him. He will want you back when he is ready.
No you were right to be mad over the picture and he should have at least asked her to take it down. And as far as the passwords thing, I think it was cool while it lasted and that he might be hiding something else worse than that because he closed you out after you found that one pic of innocent cheek. & I've had moment's like this and you guys can work it out you just need to talk. If he won't make the first move then you should!
Thanks! These days have been the longest days ever. How long do you think I should wait to call? - 5 months ago
Answerer
I waited 4days and my guy was pissed- so I recommend at least 2. He was also questioning if he meant something to me since we usually talk everyday but we hadn't communicated and he had gotten over being mad the next morning! - 4 months ago
Coming from a girl point of view, I would have reacted the exact same way. Sometimes we don't really think about our actions when we are mad, and seeing that picture took you there. At least he gave you his passwords, but sometimes we find things that we don't like. It seems like if he was hiding something he would have changed his password or not given it to you in the first place. Guys see things a lot different then girls, and sometimes that is really hard to get. I would tell him that you overreacted, and if you do trust him let him know that you do and that the picture just kinda surprised you.
Yah. It was a bit of a shock. But he also pulled the "your too good for me card. " And I honestly think he thinks that, seeing as I go to college and he doesn't. I don't believe this at all! What am I to do about his insecurities? - 5 months ago
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What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
I honestly don't have any pick-up lines really, I may flirt a little to see if the girl flirts back, and I'll then just ask if she wants to do something with me on the weekend.
How do they typically respond?
It depends, sometimes they'll flirt back then turn me down, usually though they flirt back and we end up dating
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 5 months ago
