How can a guy want to be married in his early 20s and not want to be married in his later 20s and not want kids? Why the change? Is he lying to me? Does he just not want to marry me and be the father to my kids? This guy that I was interested in is in his late 20s and says that he does not want kids. He has stated this to many of his friends and to me also. When we were in our late teens and early 20s we talked about "our children" or how we would discipline a child if we had one. But he had also said that he did not want any. I really did not care either way.
He wanted to marry me and have children in his early 20s and has recently even said that he saw himself at this stage in life having a couple of kids and a wife. It never really took off for us because I was young and stupid, but now he is totally against kids and the idea of marriage turns him into a studdering idiot. He has said in the past that he would marry me, but "not today. " He says why get married, he can do everything a wife could do (cook, clean. ) and does not need one.
He has a girlfriend now and she has a 2-4 year old child and is just 20. He is closer to 30 than he is to 20. Do you think he was lying to me? This has hurt me so bad. At the time that was just the way it was, but now since he has been dating her it is a total contradiction to what he has said to me. We are still friends, but we don't talk as much as before. I respect him enough to give them their space. He says he has feelings for me and one day I hope that we can get together, but this has me wondering.
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What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 4 months ago
Hi - that is awful - really. But I would definitely try giving him the benefit of the doubt and forgive and let go. People change, even if it's not what they themselves expect.
Even if your ex really doesn't want his own kids, stepping in to help with some else's child doesn't necessarily mean he has changed his mind and decided to have his own biological children. I think once the child exist the dynamics of choice might shift as well.
A friend has shared a very similar story with me. He hurt his ex - dated in 20s, made promises, and by his late 20s he changed his mind about kids. I know he still feels terrible about how he hurt her, and that he changed his mind about marrying her and having kids.
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 4 months ago
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