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safekeeper07

Too close to his best friend?

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safekeeper07 (Age:18 to 24)     When: 6 months ago
Views: 134     Category: Relationships
Alright, I just got into a relationship with an incredible guy a little under two weeks ago. Until the past week, I never really realized that he spends literally all his spare time with his best friend. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, but there are two problems.
1. His best friend is always with him and has a few classes with him. All our dates save maybe two (and we see each other every day) have been with his best friend.
2. His best friend is a girl. I can't tell you how many people's assumptions I had to correct since they thought that the two were dating.
I don't mind her though. She's an awesome person to be around and always lightens up the scene, but I have hardly any time to spend with him just the two of us, which I feel is crucial right now since the relationship is just starting.
I've tried talking to my boyfriend about this, and he has tried to spend time with just the two of us, but lately I've still felt discontent about it. No, I'm not paranoid that they'll have feelings other than friendship for each other. I just feel like the third wheel a lot, and as stated before, I still want to spend some time just the two of us before we start hanging out with others. What should I do?

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What Guys Said

motorboater
1009  
motorboater (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
Well you're wrong to figure its "paranoid that they'll have feelings other than friendship for each other. " That might be accurate, that might be inaccurate. But if your his girlfriend, you're going to have to deal with that sooner or later.

But at less than two weeks it looks like you want to choose sooner. If she's truly his best friend, even if they never have more feelings than that, he will choose her over you at this point so don't overplay your hand. If you get what you want (distance between them) they'll both resent you. If you don't, well he'll reject you to preserve his best friendship.

You might let him know how much you'd like a date without any third wheels. Don't be all explicit that SHE can only see him one day a week or nothing like that. Rather, "hey it would be fun to go to this thing, just the two of us. " Keep on him until you get more of that alone time, but NEVER by pressuring him to reject his friend. ONLY by enticing him into the "extra" fun you two can have when unaccompanied. (and no it doesn't have to be sexual fun, but that might work. )
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bigguns
1649  
bigguns (Age:36 to 45)      When: 6 months ago
Your answer was written by yourself. "Alright, I just got into a relationship with an incredible guy a little under two weeks ago. " This "relationship" is only 2 weeks old and you want him all to yourself? I would gather that his friendship with this girl is considerably older than 2 weeks. You should feel like a third wheel, because that is what you are and will be until at least several weeks/months from now. His friend is probably also acting as a screener for him without his direct knowledge. She is looking out for him by being a de-facto chaperon on your dates. My advice would be to just go with the flow and be yourself. His friend will see your honest intentions and most likely (unless you are a weirdo or something) back off gracefully to allow you two to get closer and spend more time alone. However, be forewarned, guys who have a watchdog around them are common. It is uncommon for the watchdog to be another girl, and girls can be very vindictive when crossed. Guys would just punch him in the shoulder and say "better luck next time", whereas the girl could _______. (Fill in the blank - the possibilities are endless. )
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What Girls Said

Lesae
5340  
Lesae (Age:36 to 45)      When: 6 months ago
Hard position to be in. It sounds like you just have to date him longer so you can become the three musketeers. If he likes you he will realize what he is doing. I would just suck it up for a few months and you grow closer.
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random-ren asked 12 days ago

Yes, most of the time! I really wish I had a boyfriend/girlfriend!

A little, because I feel left out.

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Nope! I have too much fun being single!

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deadwait (Age:25 to 29)

What pickup lines do you use to start a conversation with someone you are attracted to?
I can't believe you're wearing those shoes, I hope you look better naked.

How do they typically respond?
They usually slap me hard across the face

but around 1 out of 10 will ask:

"How close is your place?"

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