I feel like I can't do this anymore

Ok you need to ask him for forgiveness on the bank account. That was a little messed up. How old is your child. Depending on that if you don't trust your self maybe you should have the child stay with the father or your grandma for a little bit. But love is not an easy thing to get over. It takes time. You need to eat even if its a little bit. Sleep is important. Find the things that make you happy and do them. Feel better

Lostandconfused,

Firstly, you can /not/ push away a person who truly loves you. Read that statement again, you can NOT push away a person who TRULY LOVES YOU.

Secondly, focus your energy on your child and on your life. I am sure you mean the world to the child and anybody who sleeps with someone else because they were "mad" is not deserving of your love or your child's love.

Believe me, the worst you can do right about now is to make excuses for him and to play out the various what-if scenarios. Tend to yourself and your child which should be your number one and only priority for now.

I can feel your pain and I deeply sympathize with you as I have been crippled by loss as well.

I am not a certified counselor but I can read the signs.

I've heard it said countless times, and have said it countless times, but for a relationship to work you have to be in one piece and have y our life in order before you invite anyone else back into it. While in this case it'd be inviting him back into your life, this chaos you have going on is going to keep him scared and distant.

You've mentioned that you have a child. That puts a different spin on things because of what your priorities should be.

The fact that you can't eat or sleep and especially the fact that you have lost that much weight are NOT signs to be ignored. These issues are serious and could be life threatening if allowed to continue.

"I am in desperate need of help right now because I don't trust myself anymore. " This is a cry for help and hopefully you've expressed it more people than just us here on this website.

*RIGHT NOW YOUR PRIORITIES NEED TO BE TO TAKE CARE OF AND HELP YOURSELF, FOR YOUR HEALTH AND THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD. *

You stated that you've been trying to be strong and find your inner strength but have been unable to muster the ability to do so. If everyone had the ability to just muscle through any problems they had, therapists, marriage counselors, and self help groups wouldn't exist.

You're reaching out for help but you're doing it in the wrong place. I *HIGHLY* suggest you find professional help in your area (be it a counselor, therapist, or even self help group) to help you through this, what you are describing are signs of emotional trauma.

There is no shame in this. As YOU have said, you do not want your daughter to see you this way, and you can't do it alone. You have the responsibility as a mother to end the chaos and get things under control.

It WILL get better with time but there is no harm in having someone there by your side as you walk that road to recovery. Given your description of your situation and the level of desperation it would require to reach out the internet for help I very strongly suggest you find that someone to walk by your side. Sometimes its hard to find this kind of help and people don't know where to look. I suggest using this site as well as your phone book to begin your search.

I'm really sorry you are hurting so much- you are in the throes of depression & although you stated you are taking antidepressants you seriously should seek out some professional help. Just talking to someone about your feelings will help tremendously. I know how you feel- I am going through a breakup at this time & the first couple of mths. Were the hardest. I too could not eat, sleep, function, etc. & I also felt that dieing would be a better alternative but, then I remembered that I have a daughter who loves me & I was not being fair to her. You too, need to start thinking about your child & what it would be like for him/her if you were no longer around. NO man is worth all that & trust me when I say you are not at fault for the choices your ex has made. He needs to own up to his part in all this & quit putting all the blame on you. If he truly loves you he will try to work on what went wrong- walking away from his problems is not the answer. If you were smothering him he should of been mature enough to sit down with you & discuss what was bothering him & what you both could do to resolve these problems. Just walking away is a selfish & immature act. You need to find a way to build your self-esteem back up & work on being there for your child. A professional in this area can help you deal with things you feel hopeless to do on your own. I wish for you to get better & time REALLY does heal. Take care!

Do not beat yourself up for feeling the way you feel. Even the strongest, most independent woman (or man) can fall apart for awhile after a devastating breakup. You would not be human if you did not feel. You cannot know real, true, deep love unless you put your whole heart and soul into it. The risk you take is what you are going through right now. Be damn proud of yourself for taking the risk; living and loving wholeheartedly. Be proud of yourself that you shared your heart so deeply, not pissed at yourself because you are hurting right now.

"It'll get better with time", while a true statement, is not always helpful because it implies you have no control and you simply have to grin and bear it for God knows how long.

Instead of waiting for time to work its' magical healing powers, take action. Volunteer at a hospital in the children's cancer wing. Run a marathon for a charity you support. Hang out on GirlsAskGuys and answer other people's questions in need of advice. Do something you are passionate about to re-ignite your own spark.

For some people, the fastest way to heal is to help. It gets you out of your own head and puts your heart to work.

If my answer/advice does not click with you, please take the others' advice and talk to a professional.

Best wishes

Girl, you better email me:) I am available.

I see how you feel..You're in love with him and every time you try to stop thinking about him you feel that you just can't because he is always going too be in your mind no matter what he did and you just want things to go back the way it was before and to be happy again.what you should do is Go and talk too him about everything tell him how you feel say everything you wrote about him here,show him that you really care and that you want to have another serious relationship with him..Telling the person how you feel is the way to help solve problems.But at the same time you should be strong its going too take a while for you to get over him because when your in love its hard too let the person you love go away