What to do when you've fallen in love with a married man...

You're in a tough spot, but the answer is simple. You will have to stop flirting back and go on with your life. Once you stop firting back he will get the hint and stop flirting with you.
Or if you want to be polite just tell him you appreciated the (what ever he is doing to flirt with you) but your boyfreind would not appreciate it.

Honeslty, whether I was married or single I apparently put out signals (according to others) as though I'm flirting without even knowing it. He may be doing the same thing. There is also the possibility that he is looking for an office romance which can only end terribly for everyone in the end. He's not going to leave his wife for you and/or his wfe will take him to the cleaners in a divorce and his family will be destroyed.

Only you can decide what is best at this point, but ignoring him is probably the best.
I know it will be hard for you and hurt even but the alternative is far worse.
I never found trying to be his friend ever worked because the exposure to the person just made people want the other more.

let me know if what I said helps

Looks like the feelings are from your side only He is probably just being a little more than friendly.

Think of him as a person (along with his wife) you would like to know better as a friend. DOnt change your behavior. Just intrepret that as friedliness now.

It is perfectly alright to feel a connection between you and him. After all he was the one who was flirting with you and didn't tell you that he was married. You're only human and the desires between two humans are natural and should not be ignored.
However, now that you know he is married you should respect that fact and try to be as mature as possible around him. You should tell him that you know about his wife and if he continues with the flirting you should politly tell him to stop and to continue with your work.
Remeber that it is not your fault for liking a married man, it is his fault for coming onto someone who is not his wife. He is the one at fault, not you.

what part of married don't you get? means he life belongs to aother women and it means you should respect his matramonie.How would you like it if a women took your husband? think with your head not with your sex drive.

I would say if it is possible to get completely out of any relationship with this guy then do it. You do not want to be the cause of their divorce and then date him or something. This just happened with one of my cousins and the whole family sided with his now ex-wife, they don't want him around and they definitely don't want his new girlfriend around. He used to be one of my favorite cousins but now he is like the biggest reject of the family. I hope this helped and didn't make things more stressful. If I made things more stressful I apologize.

Just stay on a friendship level. Don't flirt with him and don't encourage him to do the same. If he flirts with you don't acknowledge it, because that will encourage him to continue.

I kinda agree with Virtuales a bit. The man might be having some issues with the wife, but none the less it doesn't give him the right to lead yea on.

Don't tell him about how yea feel, but let him know that his wife might not appreciate him flirting with yea.

Sometimes we fall for the wrong people, but sometimes there are people out there that just make wrong choices.

It may be a wee bit hard to just disregard your feelings for the man, but give it a couple months and then see how yea feel.

i don't think he's a scum bag, you don't know his situation with his wife

but watch out maybe he have like 12 kids aswell

Think of the consequences.

If you go to bed with him, what would you be thinking every night when he is in bed with another woman, namely his wife. How many nights can you spend living like that before you are filled with anger, jeolousy, hatred? Triangular relationships are hell, especially for someone like you, a 3rd party. And then, you ask him to divorce his wife? If he has the guts to do it, say he is suffering from an unhappy marriage, he would have done it already. He is a greedy coward, a hypocrite who put on a facade of Mr. Nice.

You, unknowingly, is offering him the opportunity to have an extra pair of shoes to wear, for a change. Don't ever think he is going to give up on the original pair. Why should he? He isn't the guy you think he seems to be. See through his facade immediately.

Scream "Hell!", and run.

Sorry that you meet a scum bag.

Sorry you need to drop your feelings and let him go. The man is disrespectful, doesn't even wear his own ring. And second of all, he flirts with you and leads you on. He's not worth it.

You telling him to back off is NOT being a bitch. Being a bitch is letting it continue, you don't wanna do that to another woman do you? Tell him to back off. You don't even have to be rude about it. Just tell him, "I may have given you the wrong idea, and made you think I am into you. But you are married and I am uncomfortable with our current situation and I think you need to back off a little bit, our relationship needs to remain strictly professional."
Keep the feelings to yourself and let them go away. Don't say something to him. That will cause problems in both your personal and professional life. Have you ever heard the song "Stay" by Sugarland? If not google the lyrics. That's how it always works. Skip the heart ache.

you should def never get involved with this guy, it will save you problems, heartaches, headaches, time, if you dont. he acts that way because its lust. if he wanted a relationship, would you really want a dude that disrespecting his Wife? naaah...
youre way way too smart to fall for this, otherwise you wouldn't wonder about it.
tell him to stop and its bothering you.

"...and I don't want to be a total bitch and tell him to back off (which I might have to) I just don't understand it maybe I've got it all wrong..."

You need to be a total bitch and tell him to back off.

"but still I think of the reasons why he would act that way when he has a wife..."

Those reasons are not important. He is married and he led you on. How can you even trust a man like that?