or even after the kid(s) are born, will eventually come back because they thought the grass would be greener somewhere else? I know it depends on the break up probably, but do you think when it comes to family they come back to try to work it out more so than if it was just a girlfriend. Does that make sense?
If he is any kind of man he should come back and at least be there for the children..If the family has their say he should at least try to make it work with you! It makes sense and best of luck to you!
Unfortunately, the answer you probably are looking for is not the answer to the question at hand. In the majority of these situations the answer is no, chances are when the guy leaves he is scared or just a player and a prick. he will likely will not come back. Its unfortunate but its true. Some guys come back but its a very very rare case and I would not hold your breath or even expect it to happen. Just go on life as if the man has up and left and will never return. If he does you cannot let him back into your life as easy as 1. 2. 3. he needs to fess up for his ignorance and his leaving you like that. Anyway, good luck hope this helps.
Well honestly, kids are not going to fix a relationship in trouble. If anything, they probably complicate the situation even more so.
For example, my ex-wife cheated and got pregnant with the other guy's baby. It complicated the situation to the point that she couldn't come back to me because I couldn't live with the idea of waking up everyday to feed and nuture a product of infidelity. It's a different story if I walk into a relationship knowing there's a kid from another man but to have to stare the product of infidelity in our relationship everyday was too much. God does have a sense of humor because ironically the morning of our final divorce hearing, her and the new guy broke up because he was cheating on her. I couldn't have planned it any better for venegence for myself but the unfortunate sad part is that now the baby will suffer for her selfish actions.
Now granted this situation is a little different than mine. The way I see it is that just because he comes back doesn't mean the grass wasn't greener on the other side. It could be that he feels obligated because of the kids but the kids aren't going to fix a bad relationship. So when the kids are grown up and out of the house, guess what? That's right, if the relationship hasn't been fixed at that time, then there's no point in staying any longer.
Awe man... yeah, I would not want to be in your shoes either! And I am glad what she did to you bit her in the ass. I want Karma to come around to him and bite him in to ass really hard myself. Thanks for your input. - 4 months ago
I can only hope she frows up... someday. :) Thanks. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
UHH... I meant to write... I can only hope HE GROWS up someday... geesh. :) - 4 months ago
Answerer
Every situation is different. I have a son who's mother I did not marry. We were friends and slept together ONCE. She thought we should be together, I did not. My son is 28 now, and he turned out fine, and his mom says he is the biggest blessing of her life. So focus on what is best for the kids, and don't try to use them to get him. If he is worth having, he will be there. If not, you will find someone who is even better. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
I just don't want some creepy slut holding my babies...(even though that's not why he left) pretending they have family together when they are mine! - 4 months ago
Sometimes they will stay for the family but mostly if the guy doesn't feel the love anymore it won't matter if there's kids. He won't want to be miserable all the time. If he values his family he will still take care of them but not be in a romantic relationship with the mother.
I find your answer to be very truthful.He recently told me he felt "abused" in the relationship. We never had problems before them pregnancy, but it started when my body was of course changing due to the twin pregnancy and overload of hormones. I don't think it's fair to blame me for things I can't control.I only hope he understands that that wasn't me. I don't think he's "out of love" I think he's young and doesn't fully understand what my body was up to, mentally, emotionally, or physically. - 2 months ago
Well if he's done, he's done. But if he comes back for your guys' kid then he's a decent guy. Still kinda sh*tty that he left while you were pregnant tho..
Now you have to think about him as the father of your child and not as your ex who you're still waiting on.
I totally agree with you! He is showing signs of coming around for the kids, which is good, but I of course can't help but want the whole package. I would like a chance to tell him how I shouldn't have been judged for what happened during my pregnancy. Pregnancy does a lot of crazy things to a woman... especially pregnant with twins. I feel things are not my fault anymore, but feel cheated that he didn't take the time out to see where I was coming from. - 2 months ago
Answerer
I can totally understand too and it's awesome that you can recognize him for the father he's being, not a lot of women can do that. But NO it's not your fault at all that he left.
It sucks feeling cheated though but he did leave and for reasons that you may never know.
So at this point, you just have to let it go and move on. If he feels he made a mistake, then he'll come back. If not, then at least you know he's still taking responsibility. In the end, you're just going to have to let it go. - 2 months ago
Maybe he'll come back, but why would you accept him back after he disappointed your kids, and abandoned you? My best friend has 2 kids with her ex. He always comes back for a couple of weeks and she'll get all happy, then when he's done using her he'll disappear again. I really hurts me to see that happen to her. Don't put yourself and the kids through that.
I agree... and I told him that he has to think about what's best for the kids. I told him in or out. And now it has nothing to do with me. Thank you. - 3 months ago
It really depends on the guy not so much on you. He has to see is it really worth it, do he love you and the kids, or maybe his father was not in life so he don't know any better. I feel like you should give it time let God work it out.
Its hard to say it various down too what sort of guy he is I guess, I fell pregnant to my ex we were going through a really bad time in our relationship (he had met someone else) and when I told him I was pregnant he took me to the hospital straight away promising he will work on 'us' and I'm the only one I went ahead with the procedure and when I lost my baby he didn't comee to the hospital he didn't see me it was over and he was with her the next day it was the most horrifying time in my life too know someone who thought once loved you wiht all they had took advantage of you like that =[ his still with her too this day and after over a year of not talking we are starting to talk again but not once has he mentioned or apologised for what he did too me and it hurts it really does
Seriously... That sucks.. I am sorry. I am sorry toy have to go through that and I feel sorry for him. My ex just didn't want to communicate better and he thought he couldn't do anything to please me....whatever. I am starting to hate him with a passion. - 4 months ago
Answerer
Yeah trust me I hated my ex soo much but then one day I woke up and realised what's the point I'm better then this we all have are own lives to live and next time il never put myself in that situation again. Hate is a very strong word to use I doubt you hate him because you wouldn't of been with him, you just hate what his doing to you, but remember hun its your body and your life noone can make decisions for you but yourself kk take care xx - 4 months ago
Honestly, no. If a guy wanted to be apart of his childrens' lives he would not have left in the first place. Unless, of course, if the relationship was just not meant to be he had every right to leave his girlfriend, but he would have asked for visitation if he wanted to see his children.
I hope that wasn't confusing. I couldn't get the wording quite right.
I hear what your saying... but what makes a relationship "not meant to be"? I thought things were fine, we just had a few kinks and like any relationship, it takes some work. Especially when trying to unite two individuals used to living separately and dealing with pregnancy of twins on top of it. I figure(d) we were meant to be cause God blessed us with twins.. not one baby, but two! It's all just so crazy and can't believe this is even happening. But still, thank you. - 4 months ago
Answerer
I'm not saying any of this pertains to you, but relationships may not work out for many reasons: He may have found another love interest. His feelings for you may not be as strong as they once were. You two have completely different lifestyles. etc. I'm not saying that's why he left. I was just giving a few example of how relationships "aren't meant to be."
Congratulations on your twins! I have a 3 month old daughter! You will love them more than you have ever loved another human soul. - 4 months ago
I don't.. or at least I am telling myself I don't. I am just gonna have major issues when it comes to sharing my children with a new girlfriend when that part happens. And he may feel the same. Creepy. - 4 months ago
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