I used to like this guy a lot. I even asked him out. His response, I like you as a friend and I don't date girls. I then find out from his friend he is gay, which I wish he had told me in the first place. Anyways, I bring a friend I met with me when we were all hanging out and my gay friend turns to the person I brought and says "watch out, she'll ask you out in a while". I found out about this after my gay friend had gone home, and I was angry, but hurt more than anything. I thought he understood it was a misunderstanding but saying that was really low. I don't always ask guys out, and the only reason I did was because I was being told we would be great together by both his friends and mine. So, please, help me out. I still like this guy (thats not going to change, even with his preferences) and I want to keep him as a friend, but I need a way to tell him that that was incredibly rude and an insult to my nature (it seemed to me like he was imposing that I ask ever guy I meet out. ). HELP?
First of all, that was really out of line what your friend said. I can't even think to as why he would say such a thing. You need to talk to him about this.
Second of all not all gay men are as how they are portrayed in the media some gay men seem really butch & straight. The media seems to twist our perception a lot & it wasn't your fault that you didn't know he was gay unless he was sending out some major vibes, so don't worry & don't feel stupid. It seems that he's the one taking it badly!
For some reason it seems that you're more annoyed over him saying that to your friend than him not wanting to go out with you. & so you should be. We all get knocked back in life even if we all looked like Eva Longoria or Brad Pitt. Everyone faces rejection. But to have such a snide comment aimed at you when you were the one "rejected" per se is not nice at all.
Your friend should grow up, he should have been more mature about it. It's his sexual orientation and he should have said he was flattered but he is gay & then you both could have made up & laughed about it later but he had to go & be nasty. I don't get it.
So you need to talk to him & tell him what he said was way out of line & the last time you remembered he wasn't the one who was turned down. Say you are fine about the situation because you know that he is gay & you want to still be friends after that misunderstanding but that you can't understand why he said that to your friend.
To be honest if he can't give you a good explanation then he really doesn't sound like a worthwhile friend to have at all. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
When did asking a person out become a bad thing? I don't think that you should see it that way. I think it was more of a brag of your gay friend to your other friend that you had asked him out. That is a very flattering gesture whether he is gay or not and he probably wanted to tell others that he was asked out. In no way should you look down on that. I highly doubt that he looks down on you asking him out unless you were really creepy and stalked him or touched him in odd ways. (And if so, he would have said something to your friend about THAT). No doubt, he is bragging to others that he is dateable. You are just his experience that he can show-off to others and he was in the position to deny you. But remember that he is gay, that is why it won't work out - not because of something you said or did. :)
asked 12 hours ago
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