Help my cousin is dating a jerk?

Tell her this might not be a good idea, but remember, your not her mom/dad. (No offense..) I don't like when my cousin or brother date bad people either, but you know, you can only suggest, not boss. Talk to her and tell her how you feel about her dating him. That's what I do. When my brother didn't listen to me, he got heartbroken. He learned his lesson. If you feel that the guy she's dating will hurt her, or.. you know.. than just tell her dad if you need to. Don't just walk up to him and say "Your daughter's dating someone bad. Ground her.." just talk to him and say something like.. "I don't feel your daughter is making a right choice by dating this guy.. can you talk to her about it for me? She won't listen to me.." etc. :-) Hope this Helps!

Having dated and dumped a drug dealer thug idiot and having an older brother, protective father and a bunch of male friends who have taken me in as their little sister, I get her situation. I hate when all these guys get super protective over me. It's sweet but it makes me feel like they don't trust me or trust what I'm doing. It makes me feel like a child.

Definitely do not go to her father! people make bad decisions with who they're dating all the time! if anyone ever got in touch with my father about a guy I was dating, I would not only hate them for it, but it would ruin my relationship with my father too! don't mess with her family sh*t.

You are making this guy "romeo" -the guy that is unattainable. The more someone says "no anyone but him" the more they're going to want him.

I would just step back and try to get back on her good side. then slowly this guys true d*** nature will come out and she'll realize and love that she still has you in her life...

Try a little game playing! find something that would open her eyes about him! Make a little trap for the guy! try to get him to talk about your cousin in a nasty way or make sure you cousin catches him doing something like flirting or looking at another girl!
XOXO the love doctor

It's nice of you to be protective of her, but sometimes people have to make their own mistakes and learn on their own..

There is an old saying: A hard head makes for a soft ass. That means that if you don't listen and act hardheaded when someone tries to warn you, you will feel the consequences of it when it comes back to bite you. I know you don't want to see your cousin get hurt but you can't force her to listen to you. Sometimes people have to learn on their own to understand their mistakes but just be there for her anyway. Breaking up her relationship won't work because she won't truly learn from it, she'll just be resentful towards you and probably find another guy like that.

Wow.. your such a good person to care for your cousin as much as you do..
have you tried talking to her about this. if you guys are that close then you shouldnt be afriad to tell her how you feel. and she should understand.. now if she really does like him then she probably wnt leave him. but sometimes people gotta learn lessons on their own. and as family we gotta just support them and b there for them.
even if she gets mad you guys will always b family... blood is ALWAYS thicker than water.
i hope your cousin realizes what's best for her and hope she is greatful for having a cousin who looks out for her :))

Well if you don't go to her dad (which sounds like a bad idea anyways) the only other options are to A) forcefully break them up (BAD idea because even if they do break up she'll just get with another guy like that again and she defiantly won't listen to you next time) or B) apologize and go about it in a different way. Maybe just be honest with her and tell her that you just want what's best for her and you think she deserves way better than the guys she's been dating. Hopefully she'll take what you say into consideration but if she still doesn't change her ways then it'll just take time for her to learn the lesson. You can tell girls a million times that they deserve better guys but I don't think it's something we can come to believe by just being told; we have to learn it for ourselves.

ever heard of tough love? trust me your cousin will love you later she'll be mad as hell for you right now but that will soon all pass. she'll realize (whether its sooner or later however she wants to see it) and when she decides to no longer be stubborn and realize that your "overprotective" character might just have saved her a whole lot of heartache she'll realize that your the best cousin/brother she's ever had. let her know how priceless she is and she's not just a sex object and that don't just tell her she's pretty, cause most cases she already knows that and that feeds into her vanity, but let her know how smart and funny she is. Let her kno that she has OTHER attributes that make her a whole person, NOT JUST ONE! trust me if you steer her clear from this no good thug wanna be even though she'll be mad as HELL RIGHT NOW, she'll be thankful of you later on. Its a price you gotta pay for being a big brother.

P.S. I should know my brothers are all the same way. :) its a blessing/curse being the way your cuzin and I are, but trust me she'll b much better off knowing that she has someone looking out for her.

All you can do is point out your concerns. Is she your first cousin?

You are probably one of those jerks too. SOunds like it. If you want her to stop seeing him beat the f*** outta him. Oh but wait he's a thug and you are a pussy.

say something...being around drugs/ especially a drug dealer puts her in immediate danger. She will talk to you again if you tell her dad...cause she'll realize I could have been raped or abused by this kid's druggie friends. Do it for her. Do it for your family. Do it because you care.

for some reason I sense you have a crush on your cousin because they was no need to "pretend" you were her bf...
Anyhow they is nothing much you can do other than to have fun together.. and obviously be there for her when she needs you.. However you can always make fun of her druggie BF..

Maybe get your own Girlfriend and let her live her life..

This one is a tough one, but one that has been going on for ages.

Unfortunately, there's not much you CAN do, other than 1) Warn her 2) be there for her 3) Perhaps introduce her to other types of guys, but not make it too obvious.

Unfortunately, this is probably a lesson most girls have to learn (unfortunately) on their own. If they're not that bright, it may cause more pain and hurt and anguish. If they're quick learners, then that's a good thing.

Now, you just have to try to make sure she's not going to be physically attacked or worse. If you think that's the case, intervene, but do it the right (legal) way. She may hate you, but there ARE worse things.

I have a "friend" who does the same thing. (Friend in quotations meaning that she'll drop most of her friends for whatever guy is in her life at the time). She'll get into relationships and make p*ss poor decisions, and then she goes and does it again. I think sadly she kind of thrives on the drama. So I've stopped trying to talk sense into her. She'll ruin her own life, but she's an adult (though she doesn't act like it), and it is her choice.

It's a tough thing to have to sit back and not say anything, and it feels like a good majority of my friends never listen to me when I do give them advice; they get into trouble, then say I didn't do anything or didn't care enough. Like I said, It can be frustrating. But I hold out some small hope that some day, all this heartache and hurt may end up being a good thing (in one of those clouds having a silver lining type of way), and I hope to be able to see that.

Unfortunately, to a degree, that may be something you will have to do. Getting the dad involved may not be the right way to go, but that depends on how well you know him. If he's not going to handle this in a mature way, then this may be something you have to wait on. If he yells and intervenes, but does it out of love, then it might do some good. Is there a possibility that he could claim someone else told him, or he happened to see it on his own? Is he involved? If he is, that might be the way to go, provided, again, he handles the situation well.

Best of luck on whatever your decision is.

this is a very common problem with brothers. Girls can never think like guys and guys also can't think like girls. I also tried to protect my sister from these jerks but all my efforts resulted in fights with my own sister because of that mo****. and one day when my sister said to me who am I to say in her matters then I really realized the reality.

our sisters are grown up girls they have there own lives so we should let them live as they want yes being a brother we should warn them against dangers but finally its there decision and they are responsible for their result if something bad happens. and if we will try to force them then we are the only one who will get frustated because we can't monitor them 24x7.

so just relax dear just warn them against jerks and they are grown enough to decide what's wrong and right for them.

You made a big mistake by pretending to be her boyfriend. You broke her trust in you and now your no longer in a positiont to advise her.

I can understand why you did it, but it was wrong to do so.

The best thing you can do is not to interfer. I know that's hard because you love your cousin it you push now it will cement her with this guy. You should say your glad she's dating him, at least your not dating (some guy that would be good for her she's liked). Young girls go for what they can't have or what's different (hence the jerk). So what you need to do is make someone suitable more attractive to her.

Do warn her about the guy, but tell her you support her decisions and your trusting she won't let this guy hurt her and will be safe. Its the best chance you now have.

Its a very hard thing. I sympathise with you :(.

Now I don't know your cousin, but it's been my experience than people need to learn certain lessons in life on their own, no matter what anyone tells them. You know the classic example, the parent tells the teenager they've been there/done that and the teen still doesn't listen only to find out later that the parent was right. That's what the situation with your cousin sounds like to me. She needs to experience things herself to realize the folly of her decisions. It seems doubtful there is anything you can say/do that will alter her mind on the subject, so be supportive of her when things turn bad with this guy.