Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. Recently she said she wanted a break as she was not sure this is what she wanted anymore and that she's having doubts. But she said she still loves me and don't know what to do. We had a break of only about a week, during which she rang every night, sometimes in tears. So we agreed we will kinda be back together, more just seeing each other/dating, for the next few weeks and then see if we still want to carry on seeing each other after that.
I have given it some serious thought and think I realise where I made some mistakes, like not doing the small things that matter, startng unnecessary arguments etc. and I think over time this made the relationship feel different and so she's had doubts.
So should I talk to her about this and tell her why I think she's had doubts (cos she said she doesn't know why) or should I keep quiet and let the next few weeks play out, just correcting these mistakes?
I don't want to push her further away by talking about it in case she gets all defensive; even tho I'm accepting fault. kinda like if you break up with your girlfriend and want her back the worst thing to do is keep on about it and say how much you love her etc.
but this is slightly different so not sure what to do?
I would say tell her you know now where you made mistakes and that you will work on them, and then do it. Don't go into any detail ever if she asks, just tell her you will show her from now on and not say it.
I think you sound very sweet. Yes this is a tough one. She is young and don't get too worked up or push her for details about why she has doubts. If they are major flaws in you, she will point those out. What it could be is just very normal, ideas about is this the right one. What else is out there? That doesn't make her horrible at all at all. It makes her normal and as you say the little things you already know to make changes on are very good. Girls do love the little things. They really do. And she is still dating you, so treat her well. If it doesn't work out you have still learned a tremendous lesson and if she is the one, you will be a great thoughtful partner. IF she isn't, you will be for the girl that is. Sounds like she just needs a minute to see where she is. She doesn't want to let you go.
Thanks. my only worry is, correcting my mistakes without actually talking about them would work fine as the relationship would feel great again like it used to. however, I don't think a few weeks is going to be enough for her to notice the change cos we only see each other at weekends.
i don't want to lose her. I'm putting on a brave face to her and friends etc. but I'm dying inside. this is hard and knowing where I went wrong I know I can make it what she wants again. - 14 days ago
Question Asker
Meant to add. I don't plan on pushing her for details as to why she has doubts. just suggesting what I'm pretty certain are the reasons - 14 days ago
Answerer
You could mention the things that have occurred to you, but don't dwell or put it in such a way that she has to really respond with yes your right or not. Just tell her you realize you could do better at some things, and then most important of all DO THEM. Do a little thing, like you said. IF she notices at all, and says oh that's sweet or thank you, just add yes I realize I didn't do the little things quite as much as I could have, and I intend to from now on. BIG KISS! everyone is happy. - 14 days ago
Before you admit anything you need to be CERTAIN why she wanted to split up or "take a break"
The "take a break" is a tell tell sign of "i wanna bang other dudes" or "i really like this guy at work and he says you treat me like sh*t"
I can understand that you think you're being a drama queen starting unnecessary arguments, but if that was really the reason, it would have been brought to the forefront a lot earlier.
Don't admit defeat yet, unless it's for sex, in that case, say everything and anything you can to get laid, that's the only exception. :)
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 14 days ago
When: 14 days ago
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