Is it bad to be married to a workaholic?

I've been married to the same man for over 20 years. For many of those years, he was working 60+ hours a week, and sometimes more. This has caused some problems, but overall we have had a wonderful marriage, and we still do. That's because, when he's not working, my husband makes sure he is focused on me and the family, and really gives us his full, devoted attention and love. That's also because I need and value quite a bit of time for myself, to do the things I love, and I take the time to do those things when my husband is at work. So, here's my advice. Find a girl who enjoys her time with you, but who also very much enjoys time by herself, and has no problem filling that time with fun and useful activities. Admit to her, up-front, that you love your work, and plan to work between 50 and 60 hours a week for most or all of your career. But also promise her that, when you are not working, you will devote yourself to her, and none other. If she seems genuinely happy and excited about this prospect, you may have found your girl (and you may end up, like me, with a great marriage). Good luck!

With those kind of hours I would understand the consideration of a divorce, but first talk to your partner to try to fix the problem and if no good results come from it do what ever is best for your future, trust me, you would not like to feel tied down from doing fun stuff because of a workaholic. Good luck to you.

If you aren't seeing her enough/making time to see her or giving her or the relationship the proper attention, she's going to eventually feel like she doesn't matter to you since you never spend time with her and all it is with you is work, work, work.

It could be grounds for divorce if you let the relationship between the both of you deteriorate because of work.

It also depends on your job. If you are a doctor, then that's an obvious one that your wife is going to have to accept before she gets married to you.

If its not that, is the money really worth it? There is a line you have to draw for that. What's more important at the end of the day, the money, or her?

I like a guy who is hard working, but not to the point where it interferes with the relationship.

Well this is what I think. If a woman or man knows that their significant other is a workaholic either they accept it or they don't. Now if you accept it and believe in them you will understand but that doesn't give you any grounds later to judge it or change your mind. This person is how she/he is. Now if you don't accept it you will not let the relationship continue. Me personally I love a hard working man.

Is it bad to be married to a workaholic?

Depends on the amount of income that this translates to. If you are only staying afloat in the middle-class bracket then, yes, it isn't worth it since you are only stressing yourself out continually as you try to stay ahead in the rat race. I'd refocus my energies on something more important such as the wife and kids.

If you are however bringing in the cash that enables you to simple take time off and jet set to a top rated resort in the Polynesian islands for a week and to hire a permanent nanny to help out your wife then it is a completely different ball game.

Just think ROI - Return on Investment. For every hour that you put in what is the return on investment. For what is worth, I wouldn't put too much emphasis on bonuses as they are the proverbial carrot stick since neither is guaranteed and you can't go back to take back your time invested either.

I hear of this becoming a problem when kids are involved, and the wife in the relationship feels like the parenting is one sided. Say she was career driven also, and then she gets pregnant, and has to take maternal leave. Now here's the catch 22, how much work does it take to provide for a family, and how much does it take to nurture the soon to be family. And what will happen when she decides to go back to work and now kids are involved. That's where sacrifices of time come in, to make the best outcome of the big picture, not just making the most money. So when someone works 40 hours, figure out what else they do, and how they manage their time. And if they have any kids, because it's tough. There are a few different people to please in that situation. And in a few different ways. If you spend the majority of your time working, it gets even tougher without anyone feeling neglected, or like they can go after their own hopes and dreams.

Well I work a lot of hours myself. I have to being self employed. I take all the work I can get because sometimes work might slow up and its good to have money to back me up plus the bills keep coming to. Now in a marriage, if he is working a lot of hours he is just providing for you. Is he self employed or does he work for a company? If he works for a company it might be hours he has to work because that's what they want him to do. I wouldn't get a divorce over this. I seen people do that and they got married to another guy who had more time to spend with them but ended up getting a divorce because of financial reasons, meaning they lost their car and house because they didn't bring in enough money to pay the bills. They way I see it, he prob don't like working all the time either but when he married you he is doing something that all men should do when they get married and that's providing for his family. Its hard to find a guy that works anymore. Most guys I see don't have a job or if they do they complain that they might have to work 30-40 hours a week. I would not get a divorce and I would enjoy the time that you do get to spend together.

Well, you could work 20 hours a week, and not give your partner any time, and you will still get hit with divorce. The key is to take the time to make your partner feel special in the hours when you can and you're not working. I've met many couples who spend a lot of time working, and their relationship at some point fails cause they spend too much time with other people, and when they're free to spend the time with themselves, they are too tired to do anything. When I have had to work 60 hours or so a week for a couple of months, I normally tell my significant other what's going on, and believe, I go the extra mil to let her know that even though I'm spending a lot of time at work, I'm also spending a lot of time thinking about her, etc. And when I do have the time, then I do what it takes to make her happy. Women need a lot of attention, even though they tell you they don't; I learned that lesson long ago. :))

Well why do you want to work so much? What are you trying to avoid? What are you trying to accomplish?

Is it grounds for divorce? I don't know. But I can definitely understand why women want to divorce guys for that. If a guy's number one priority is his work, then obviously his wife is not his number one priority. And if you're married, your top priority over everything should be your spouse.

A woman needs to be loved, needs to be cherished, needs to be lusted after, needs to be appreciated, and just taken care of. And if a guy won't do that, she begins to fall away and resent him, Women are designed to be loved and cherished. And if they can't get that in a marriage, then what is the point of being married?