OK so I have been seeing our delivery guy at work. I am currently in a relationship and I discussed this with my boyfriend. But the guy and I are FWB. He is always saying how lucky my boyfriend is that he can have me anytime he wants, and how he would love to have me as a girlfriend but the FWB thing is fine, and he is always talking about how I make him feel giddy whenever I'm around. So, when things started going downhill with the bf, I asked this guy would he want to actually date me if me and boyfriend broke up? I assumed it would be an easy yes seeing what he has told me before.
But, he made all kinds of excuses. He said I should finish school. He said unlike my boyfriend he would not tolerate me sleeping around (which is OK with me). He said he was scared I'd get bored and stray (which is NOT why I am seeing him, I am seeing him because my boyfriend cheated on me and I wanted to try something new). I reassured him on all of these things but he said he just didn't know. So what does he want? I thought it would be his dream come true if we could become exclusive but he is being really shady.
The real issue here is that it wasn't his dream come true to get together. It was your dream, and you wanted to get together. He doesn't feel the same.
Let's simplify this. He will do to you what you allow him to do with you. Does that make sense?
The basis of your relationship was FWB. His relationship with you was based on this premise. If your premise changes, which it has because you want a more serious relationship with him, the dynamics of your relationship change as well.
Look at it this way. A boy and girl are friends. They become boyfriend and girlfriend. They become fiances. They become husband and wife.
The premise of the relationship is that they enjoy each other's company. As their guidelines for their relationship change, their relationship deepens. With every step, they re-identify themselves in the relationship, and have a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
In the case with FWB, you were ready to deepen the meaning of your relationship. He was not ready to re-identify his role in the relationship. He was content with FWB. By changing the guidelines of your relationship, he no longer wants any part of the relationship.
It might be better to let it go. You are worth more than that. He doesn't deserve to enjoy your company. Besides, don't chase what not worth catching. There's someone out there who is willing to appreciate you for the splendor that you are. Good Luck.
Keep your legs closed more often, you'll get into less trouble. He used you for sex and said those things in order for you to keep coming back to him. And now here you are, all alone. Life's tough, no?
He's probably thinking the same thing I'd be thinking if I were him. If you cheated on your current bf, what's to keep you from cheating on him? Just because your boyfriend cheated on you does not make it right.
Or, you know, he just wanted you because it was easy, no responsibility to you, all of that.
You should realize by now that sometimes guys (or people in general) say shit just to get what they want. In this case, the guy wanted to get laid, so he sweet talked you to keep you coming back.
I think he is think because you cheated on your boyfriend. Why would you be loyal to him if you got into a relationship. Why are you cheatin on your boyfriend. Why don't you break up if you aren't happy.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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