I have a guy friend I've know my whole life. We're both 18. Recently, things started to be more and more physical between us and last week, we had oral sex. He wanted even more so badly but I said no. (Actually, I said: "No, not now, MAYBE the next time..." I am a virgin. He is not. The thing is, he's currently dating a girl who's not even 16 yet. He basically cheated on her that night. He says he has no clue why he's with her and apparently doesn't care about her. The question is, why is he doing it? I refuse to believe that he wants me for sex only just to relieve his needs. He's a really attractive guy so I don't think he would use a friend he's known since forever! Also, almost all our friends are mutual so it's not like nobody would ever find out... And if he did want just sex, he would not want it with a virgin, right? Also, neither of us is able to define the reason why we're not dating each other. We're both just confused as hell. Your thoughts?
Wise man is ABSOLUTELY right. You're both getting used for sex. He might think you're cute, but obviously he doesn't care about either one of you, because he's treating you both like objects. He's not confused, he knows what he's doing.
Stop acting naive. He is using the other girl for sex, and he will use you for sex. Of course he is with her to satisfy his sexual needs, and you're next on his list. You say you refuse to believe. My advice is, have sex with him, get used, and then you will believe cause as you know experience never lies. Maybe then you can go ahead and apply this experience for the next guy that wants to use you for sex, and you refuse to believe he wouldn't use you for sex. OH, by the way, guys love to brag about the number of girls they 'broke' or 'deflowered'.
Well, actually he's not sexually involved with that girl. He's dating her because she asked him out and he says he "didn't have the guts to say NO". - 7 months ago
Answerer
And is that what the girl said or what he said? - 7 months ago
Question Asker
That's what HE said to me and my friends. - 7 months ago
First of all, if you had to ask usually the answer is negative. That's because your relationship is defined, thus you are not ready. Still confused? Do you want to get pregnant, maybe even a STD and have a life your still confused on how it got so messed up. You and him need to sit down, lay it on the line. What does he want? If he's not sure, its not you mentally, just physically to fill those moments. And the same with you. Your not sure, it's not him. You both are not attracted to each other for a maturing relationship. Be Friends. There is nothing greater than a true friend! Keep growing together, but with respect. Good Luck!
The fact that he's attractive doesn't mean he wouldn't use someone that way. Truth is, if he cheated on his girlfriend, what's to say he wouldn't cheat on you if you were together? I would be extremely careful with this guy. Don't do anything more with him unless he breaks up with his girlfriend. After all, you don't want to be the "other woman," do you? You deserve to be his girlfriend proper before you take things any further.
And if the two of you do get together, then just be careful. There's nothing to say he wouldn't cheat on you given the chance he had with his current girlfriend. Either he's staying with someone he doesn't care about and stringing her along, or he's lying to you, and either way, is that someone you want to be involved with romantically and sexually? Just think about it before you go on with him. Good luck.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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