I have feelings for a friend's brother-in-law. We've dated a bit and he seemed to like me for a time but he's messed me about a lot and treated me badly. Although I still have feelings for him, I know no good can come of it and am planning to avoid him now.
My problem is my friend. She told me frequently for 4 months before I dated him that he really liked me (without this I wouldn't have dated him in the first place as he seems out of my league), but has since been very unsupportive. After my first date with him, he said he'd love to see me again and texted me a lot, but then stopped contacting me - I was pretty upset. About 2 months later, the friend invited me to stay, not telling me he was going to be there, and as I arrived (for a weekend, so I couldn't escape) she told me that he was coming and had a girlfriend - I was devastated and had to cope with a whole weekend pretending I didn't mind. Recently, I saw him again at my friend's house, and he was all over me/seemed very interested and we ended up kissing etc. - but then treated me very badly and hasn't contacted me since.
The friend finally emailed about week later and said "I hope you don't feel messed about by him" - I replied that I did feel messed up, but that it was my own fault and I should have learned better by now. That was over a fortnight ago, and she hasn't been in touch since.
I feel very hurt by her behaviour - it's not her fault that her brother-in-law has behaved badly, but I do feel she could at least check that I'm OK. She's been a friend for over twenty years, but has shown no sensitivity for my feelings at all. I've been extremely supportive to her over the past few years, and have gone out of my way to support her during difficult times. Am I over reacting to feel let down by her? Should I contact her and tell her how I feel?
Yes you should contact her and let her know exactly how you feel. You've been friends for over twenty years so if she knows you well, really she may already have some kind of an idea as to how your feeling. As for him it really is time for you to move on, if he is messing you around now and making you feel so miserable that is kind of an inkling as to what the future would be like if you were to be in a relationship with this man.
(Age:36 to 45)
When: 7 months ago
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