Hi I am trying to get some advise for my friend. She has been dating a guy for 5 years. They are also engaged and suppose to be getting married in July. The problem is she has never met any of his family even though they live in the same city. She has never been to her fiance house. According to her fiance he claims they cannot live together because when he got a divorce from his ex wife it was agreed in the divorce decree neither would co-habitat with another until marriage. Unless ex husband and ex wife both agreed. Sometimes my friend is unable to get in touch with her fiance for days. They don't spend holidays together. Her fiance has also told her after they get married he wants them to be swingers as in they sleep with other people in front of each other. They don't go out anywhere together. The only time she sees him is if he goes to her house to have sex and then leaves afterwards or she meets him in the parking lot of his job after he gets off work to have sex. Please let me know your opinion on this whole situation.
WOW that's a load man. K well there must be something bugging the shi@@ out of this guy or he could have a second life you know? How can you want to have sex with other people while being married to that one and only person is monogamy not part of marriage any more? I don't know but maybe this guy has been stringing her along trying to get her to do this so he can still control his sex life that he is having all the time. Would you think that maybe he would be sleeping with other women other than her? Why would you need to keep your fiance a secret? Love isn't about who gets what and why we shouldn't do this or that. In real love wouldn't you not care about all of that? I mean ya he obviously had a horrible break up with his ex wife but if you were still clinging to that pain that she had caused why would you go into a relationship with someone and expect the same results?
Hi, yes she knows about him cheating one time. She was upset but says she does not hold it against him because he told her he was a swinger before they met. I have tried to tell her what he is doing is not right. The only response I get is, "I know my man and I know he loves me and as long as I'M ok with everything. You should not care. " She claims older African American men don't introduce their women to there family for many years but that I would not know that because my husband is younger. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
She claims older African American men don't introduce there women to there family for many years but that I would not know that because my husband is younger. I don t believe that to be true at all. She also claims he asked his ex wife if he could have my friend live with him and she said no. She says he cannot brake the divorce decree arrangements because he has sole custody of his kids. If he breaks it the ex wife will go to court to try to get custody. She also has never met his children. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Really? Wow man that seems so sad. Well then again it is her relationship and if she sees nothing wrong with it then that's ok for her. Although even if this maybe blows up in her face she can count on you to be there for her right? Obviously you are concerned about it and she either sees it as ok, or she is being abused you know? My best friend had a real creep for a boyfriend and every time I brought up how I thought he was a loser and she should dump him she never really could cus he was so - 7 months ago
Answerer
Controlling and she didn't want to make a scene about it but you know lots of reasons could be making her act this way. Its not anything new to her because they have been together do long right? But all you really can do about it is wait for her to either come around or stay with him and things get more complicated. - 7 months ago
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This whole situation is absurd! The fact that this guy even agreed to have "permission" first in order to co-habitat with another woman until marriage shows that he has a mind set of getting back together with his ex-wife. It's been 5 years and yet he hasn't introduced your friend to his parents? Having sex with other people in front of each other? Talk about no dedication. I'm sure your friend and this guy has shared some romantic memories, but according to your story it seems like pure lust. Your friend deserves so much more than this guy. In the end it is her decision, but I feel that she will definitely be better off with other guys who will solely love her.
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