A few months ago I met this girl through mutual friends and we hit it off. We went on a couple dates and would meet up at parties and shit. I ended up really liking her but she said she didn't want a relationship. Throughout our little thing we had going I was always getting mixed signals from her, like she was playing hard to get super hardcore. At one point wed be holdin hands the other time shed be starting arguments with me.
Anyways, it seems like now she's kind of warming up to me, but more as a friend then a lover. It's weird, I don't think you can ever have enough friends. But how can you learn to befriend the one you desire. When I say friend I mean like a legit friend, not just someone you say what's up to, you know.
I think I'm just thinking out loud, but that's what this site is for.
Update: I never pursued her for friends with benefits. She's too special and I would feel real low. Yes, there are plenty of women out there, but its rare to find one you feel deeply for and can stand to be with.
3 months ago
Update: I think not being friends first kind of hurt me because that element of trust wasn't established yet. It was more like a guessing game. I think she's afraid if she lets a guy into her life hell mess things up.
3 months ago
Update: I think not being friends first kind of hurt me because that element of trust wasn't established yet. It was more like a guessing game. I think she's afraid if she lets a guy into her life hell mess things up.
3 months ago
Update: I didn't mean low like that. I meant that I would feel low or upset cause we could be so much more.
3 months ago
You should ask her what her intentions are. If she only wants to be friends then she needs to tell you that so that you know where you stand with her and you also have to be able to accept that and deal with it. If she wants to be more serious with you then she needs to let you know that as well and you need to let her know up front that you aren't willing to play any games with her.
I agree with tizen. Do something interesting and crazy and don't get friend zoned, other wise you'll be subconsciously chasing something that you'll never get. Take a chance, there are lots of decent people out here, if you fuck this one up there will be plenty of others.
When she told you about not wanting a relationship, that was the female-talk for "I'm tired of being tied down and controlled by a single guy". You *could* have then proceeded to pursue a simple friends-with-benefits agreement, or display your ability to not be a control-freak in a relationship. Each of those are fairly difficult. The difficulty lies in the woman though. She has already decided in her head that she does not want a boyfriend, or anyone with that title attached to her. Convincing her otherwise is almost impossible. You can work around this by showing her that you're not looking to keep her down, or "attach" to her. This goes back to the "friends-with-benefits" thing.
Otherwise, you just keep yourself around and hope she does not throw you in the FRIEND ZONE. Once in the FRIEND ZONE, you will no longer be able to escape. She will eventually decide she is tired of running around and sleeping with random men and ready to be tied down once again. She will pick one of those random men. Probably the guy who can most convince her that he is a "nice guy". Ya, she is almost ready to move on to nice guys. Not quite though.
She's in a weening phase. There will be assholes, then not so much assholes, and then kind of nice assholes, then finally a nice guy with latent asshole tendencies (a reformed asshole? ). That will be the guy she lets tie her down. It might last. It might not. Depends on each person.
You just have to decide where you want to be in all of that. One of those assholes, or the guy in the FRIEND ZONE? Good luck.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My ideal first date would be some wear were I can actually talk to the person get to know them. Like a cafe, barns and noble, or something where we can't be interrupted while talking. I would wear something that looks really good I want them to feel appreciated, Like a sun dress or some of my favorite jeans with a really cute tank or T depending on where. The date would end at my place.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
How I am little, what I like to do for fun, If I like him or not.
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
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