Physical attraction: relationship material?

There is generally a physical attraction that sparks the interest. Other characteristics maintain the interest after the initial attraction.

Physical factors (appearance, affection and sex) are less than 20% of a healthy, long term relationship. Emotional factors (infatuation, feelings and love) have around a 25% role, Mental factors (intelligence, stability and thought disciplines) have around a 25% role and Spiritual factors (beliefs, intimacy and experiences) have around a 30% role.

People who use their appearance to attract mates should expect their mates to be tempted, if not attracted by others who are willing to do the same later. People who allow physical appearance to determine who they will be intimate with should accept the fact they will never be able to trust themselves in a long term relationship and, therefore, never be able to invest themselves in the relationship in the more important ways, in a manner that will lead to a fulfilling, trusting, deep level intimacy, relationship.

haha people will tell you its the inside, and that is definitely the second consideration, but the first is looks. thing is, its not too hard to pass, as long as you aren't completely ugly, you should be fine. The second test is much harder. So personality is more important than looks, but if you fail looks, then its fail everything. I guess long term looks don't matter as much, that's focused on ur relationship. maybe that's cause I'm young.

For me.
It tells me who I'm meeting.
Of course you want them to be attractive to you, but to have a long term relationship with them has nothing to do with how attractive they are.

After a while, all that stuff goes away.

I mean there will be times when you come to yourself and think, you know what.You are hot.
I have good taste.

There is the case where you can look so good to where you last long enough for the other to fall for you and appreciate who you are. That's the game for young people though. Where all you see is the appearance of that person.

At some maturity [not some age] you figure out that looks are just not enough to be with someone. You need something more enduring.
Like a person you love to talk to.

I hope that helped.


Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man