Okay, my fiance (and girlfriend I lived with for 6 years) suddenly left me two months ago with no explanations. Her job took her away lots and for two months leading up to the breakup we hardly saw each other. When we did we were both grumpy. She was drinking a lot in that time and not being herself.
Before then, however, things were great. I'm talking five months ago! We had a romantic holiday season together. We've traveled the world together and lived in exotic places and shared many adventures. It was always her and I as a team when we were in strange places! We loved each other very much and were best friends.
So she left me all of a sudden, and left her clothes, car, shoes, jewelry, our cats, etc. with me and she took off. When she left she was saying "I need to take a step back.". As she left she was saying "I love you" and kissing me and saying "I'm sorry." and crying. I still didn't know what was going on!
The wedding was canceled (invites ordered, dress paid for, etc.). Then I found out she had a "crush" on another man (she's in her very late twenties and he is 45) that she worked with. That's all the details I have on that, aside from some dinners on her credit card that I was never at!
Her friend called me and said "I could strangle that b***h! I'll talk to her."
So I got angry and packed up all her stuff into boxes. She tried calling me a few times but I ignored her calls. Then she called our mutual friends a few times asking if I was dating.they didn't tell her yes or no. Then her calls to me became more frequent and I texted her "Please don't talk to me." She wrote back "What the hell?"
Yesterday I answered her call after a month of no contact. She's been in the field at her job, alone most of the time, living out of a backpack. She was nervous and insecure (I can tell after living with her for 6 years!). She was trying to question why I had packed her things up. She asked if her stuff could stay here as she had nowhere for it to go. She was trying to act cool and make me laugh. She asked if I was dating and I said I didn't want to talk about that. She said she was coming back to this town and would like to come over but didn't say why. She kept trying to prolong the conversation until I let her go politely.
She was trying so hard to be friendly but she was so afraid that I was angry at her. I was friendly back to her. I agreed to let her call me next week before she comes over. That other guy will also be in town then, but she has no way of knowing that.
Because of our history together I want to forgive her and for her to come back. We'll obviously need counseling and hard work!
She's a wonderful person (normally) and we still love each other deeply.
Does she want to come back? How can I let her know that I'm willing for a second chance without pushing her away?
Am I being used? I don't believe she would do that.
Yours is a sad story. I once left a man that I was engaged to, everything was ready to go, but my reasons for leaving were very different. I loved him so much, and we were so good together. After awhile I wanted to reconcile, but the hurt I had caused him outweighed the energy he had to fight for us. I've never been so heartbroken in my life.
You sound as if you still have the fight left in you for her. If you want to know if she wants to come back be strait forward with her. Ask her, "why do you really want to see me? Why do you keep asking if I'm dating other people, why does it matter?" You two have so much history you're beyond the game playing.
You also need to find out the reason she left, the REAL reason. Let that help you decide if you want to give her another chance. If it had anything to do with that guy, are you willing to overlook it? She acted so strange and awful about the whole thing, she owes you an explanation.
I wouldn't worry so much about pushing her away, the ball is in your court now. She knows she screwed up, that's why she's coming to you like a dog with its tail in between it legs. Don't fall all over yourself in front of her, or tell her how much you miss her, want her back, she did leave you, remember. She's at fault, she doesn't deserve to be let off easy just because you love her. You don't have to be mean, just don't give into her until she satisfies all the questions you need answered. I agree with the counseling, apparently there are some communication issues you guys need to work out. Best of luck to you.
try talking to her be ur self maybe she needs a friend right now and maybe you can be that friend. just don't bring up that you want to get back together because that will just push her away
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 5 months ago
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