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chicarica17

This is totally crazy! Friend with benefits/jump-off do I keep being intimate with him?

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chicarica17 (Age:25 to 29)     When: A month ago
Views: 19     Category: Relationships
I have been friends with this man for over a year--when we met he let me know that because of his job (on a cruise ship) and a previous relationship( while he was away she cheated on him a lot-and he was going to marry her) that until he is stable and settled he deals with a few different woman. I knew him and communicated with him for over 8 months before I slept with him. From the moment we met there was intense attraction -chemistry, high level of comfort, like I could say anything and he would still except me. I am in love with him---but he is dealing with a women on the ship he works on--from conversations b4 he wants out of it with her she is controlling-insecure to a great fault, she gives him no space or air at all. And these women he deals with he has told me he cannot be serious with (b4 we had sex) because he doesn't really see a future with them-they are to pass the time, fill his void of not wanting to be alone. She is a mess and he is clearly discontent-I am almost positive that when he goes home 4 his vacation he will end it with her, but because he has to work with her on a ship until October, he has to deal with his choice to claim her, so he is not miserable until then, I have met her & she is a nasty spit-fire who looks like she could give you hell.To her we are friends, but we both know there is so much more, we hook up as often as we can-do I continue to sleep with him or do I wait until he is settled. I explained to him- I want to be intimate with only him & how I love being with him & he told me he loves being with me in return. The sex is off the hook, he is the perfect fit for me sexually. I don't want anyone else. I feel like he loves me as much as I love him, but he is scared that I will do what his past real girlfriend did to him by cheating. How can I assure him I won't? Do I tell him boldly how I feel for him or do I just enjoy what we have hope & pray it all works out in my favor? BTW his mother and I are very close we talk all the time and she has married him off to me several times. I have never heard a woman marry off the sun that takes care of her financially to a woman she has never met in person, she lives abroad. She told me it is as if she has known me for years. She knows how much I love her son and sees that I am a good woman and well suited for him.
I don't want to stop being intimate w/him he makes me feel like no man has--i think he loves me back, but he has never told me. In my eyes these other chicks are convenient I really believe that when he is settled he will choose to be with me, because we have history & some intense chemistry. I think he is scared because for me my feelings happened so quickly, like love at first sight, as I grew to know more I loved more. I don't want to stop,but do I truly have a chance? I am sort of the friend with benefits/ jumpoff, do I have a chance to become his only woman? He tells me so often when I am settled "you'll see" is this him telling me "I'll see" because I am the woman he wants to be with?

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kstewart10
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kstewart10 (Age:18 to 24)      When: A month ago
I guess this really all depends on what position you want to put yourself in. You are basically sleeping with him (because it's the best you ever had) while you know he is with someone else, and staying with her every night. If he was in town would that be something you would do? If not then I don't think that it is appropriate for him to continue to do so, on a ship or not, and for you to participate whether or not he says he loves being with you.

I don't think he actually wants to be with you. I think he is passing you lines and doing what he wants to do with as many people as he wants and you are simply another, whether you talk to his mother or not, you are getting played.

He can either make a commitment to you and you can trust that he's behaving, or you can move on, but either way "being intimate" with him should not continue.
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