There was this guy at my college, and I'm pretty sure he liked me. He would always try to talk about the class we were in and say we should study together and after he dropped the class he asked if the class missed him, and then if I missed him. And whenever I was talking to his roommate in the common area (roommate was a really nice guy, I could tell him about a bad day I was having, and he would listen. We're just friends though), he would come in the lounge and start talking to me even though I was talking to my friend. I kinda liked him but there a couple times when he was acting really cocky and that bothered me, so I kinda didn't pay much attention to him. And his roommate mentioned that he never acts like that in front of him, or other ppl, just when I'm around.
The guys on my floor pretty much liked having me around because of my personality, and they were always nice to me. It was just that one guy that acted like that. After I saw him not being so cocky a couple times, I tried talking to him but he wasn't very responsive. I can understand that since I hadn't been responsive before, but after that, he started being chatty again. I asked where he was living next year, and he said in one of the dorms, then he asked where I was living, and I said in an apt. w/my friend, and then he was like '(myname) why didn't you ask me to live in your apt.?' lol
but anyways, after all that, he just gave up on talking to me. I wanted to be nice, and be friends(we weren't really friends before, more like acquaintances), so I instant messaged him tonight. he wasn't saying much, just answering the questions I asked and nothing else. I just gave up and said 'well goodnight then' and he replied 'take it easy'. I just want to be friends. I think he would probably be a good friend as opposed to before when he was trying to flirt with me and he came off as really cocky.
would he ever be open to a friendship? what can I do to show him that I just want to be good friends and I'm not going to reject him?
Update: So should I IM him again? When-- like a week from now? Later this week? i was thinking about asking him to hang and get dinner or ice cream w/my friends and I one day this summer, when I'm in the city and after he gets off from work. is that 4 months ago
Update: *is that a good idea? when should I ask him that? I feel really bad that I hurt his feelings. I just didn't realize that he liked me until after I messed things up. I've never been in a relationship before.
4 months ago
If you and him had been good friends, or even friends rather than mere acquaintances, I would say do all you can to salvage the friendship. However, if there was no real close friendship to begin with and leaving it as is would not hurt you too much, I would just let it rest. While you have good intentions in trying to be friends with him, it quite possibly could end up making it harder on him if he really was interested in you romantically.
Ok so he was nice to you then he became cocky and you gave him the cold sholder, and you wonder why he didn't talk to you for a whie? He liked you and you and then you told him you just wanted to be friends oh man talk about a blow to a mans ego. Now you wonder why he isn't very responsive to you, and probably doesn't want to hang out with you, the reason is because he wanted to be more than just friends with you, and you turned him down, most of the time when a guy likes a girl and she pull the I just want to be friends that means to a guy why the hell should I hang out with her anymore, especially since he wants more than that. A girl did that to me once and I completely ignored her, and she always wanted to hang out with me after that, guys don't just go ok sure we can be great friends, hell no they take that with a grain of salt and hope that they don't have to talk to you that much anymore, so they can get over the fact that they liked you and move on with their lives.
Definitely. You just can't go from liking to uhh now were friends. Doesn't work that way. If anything the transition to friends will either happen wayy wayyyy down the road or not at all. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
I never told him that I just wanted to be friends. He was always cocky, from the very beginning. There wasn't a change, that's how he was the entire time. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
:( awww.... I didn't realize that a guy would totally not wanna be friends after that... I thought that would be a nice consolation or something.
so I guess I should wait until september when school starts again to be nice? would that be enough time for to get over the fact that he liked me and for him to stop (possibly) hating me? or next month or something... I feel as though I should try to make things better =/ - 4 months ago
Answerer
Do you like the guy? Would you date him or go on a date with him or do you just want to be friends? - 4 months ago
Question Asker
I did like really him, but I didn't realize that he felt the same way because of the way he was acting. I'm really shy, so it was hard for me to realize that and for me to actually do anything about it. I do still like him, but I don't think he's interested anymore(and understandably so), so I'm guessing that the realistic thing to do is just be friends. I would go on a date with him though. - 4 months ago
N/A
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 4 months ago
It sounds as if this guy liked you, but he was nervous and didn't know how to be himself around you, so he came off as being cocky because of his nervousness. Some guys are like that - it's a nervous reaction. I don't know about the friends part for you & him. If he really liked you & he felt like you shot him down, his ego is probably wounded. It probably took him a lot of courage to even talk to you to begin with because of liking you, so if he finds out that you don't like him as boyfriend material, he's probably not going to want to be friends with you, and if he does, it probably won't be right away. You've got to give guys time to lick their wounds, so to speak, before jumping right back in and wanting to be friends with them, especially if he liked you a lot. The more he liked you, the more hurt he's probably going to be. And, the more hurt he is, the longer he might need to spend away from you. Make sense? Of course, maybe he's one of those guys who really doesn't care and lets stuff slide right off his back, but from what you've said, it really doesn't sound like that. I would give him a bit of time and space before rushing in to be his friend. I hope that helps.
sounds like he has been using techniques from a dating book where the theory is that most guys drool over girls if you come along being all funny and cocky you have more luck. sounds like he didn't get the funny part quite right. if this is the case maybe he just wanted to get into your pants and has no other interest. ask his friends. I don't know what else it could be because the way he acts all different seems really strange.
I don't really think that he wanted just to get in my pants... all of these things took place over a few months. If he just wanted sex, wouldn't he have moved on as soon as I rejected him once?? - 4 months ago
Answerer
Could be its hard to say, the other guy who posted makes a very good points. I know guys who have been friends with a girl for years but when its just me and him talkes about how he wants to poon them so I wouldn't put it out the picture totally, on the other hand don't write him off as a sleaze because I could be totally wrong! - 4 months ago
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 4 months ago
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