I'd like to ask this of both guys and girls who actually have been in this experience.
I'm 20-ish and live with a 50-ish guy who I fell in love with and has been very good to me. Lately though, I feel a bit lonely, it's the weirdest thing. I feel we are just friends living together.
I started chatting online with a guy who likes me. Just sort of happened. He's more my age so it was fun to talk about things people our own age like to do, travel, concerts, hanging out.
So I guess now I'm confused. The older guy makes me comfortable, looks out for me. The other guy would too. I guess I worry about the older thing eventually... well what if in a couple years I want kids, or he's looking to retire and I'm just getting started in my career and all. And then I look at the younger guy and think well, there's issues there too, being a bit less mature type of thing.
I'd like to hear some tips on figuring out what you want, or if this happened to you how you figured it out.
Why don't you ask your boyfriend, the older guy? Tell him what you put on here, I'm sure he will give you the right answer and not hold you back. You already did him wrong by chatting online behind his back, would you like it if he did it to you?
Be honest with him and yourself and nobody will get hurt that way!
It's sometimes hard to know which way to go, and no one but yourself can really make that decision.
One thing that I did notice was how much you talked about your guy (or the younger one if you were to get with him) looking out for you.
There is nothing wrong with going out with someone much older than yourself, but since there is such a generational gap there are major differences in needs and wants (kids, partying, etc, etc.). Since most people get into a relationship to fill a need (lonely, compainionship, etc.) it might be worth explorying why you got with a 50 yr old.
It could just be that you liked the maturity, but there also could be some rooted issues that you are looking for a "father figure" or "someone to look after you" rather than a spouse/boyfriend.
I don't mean any insult, and this may not be the case at all, but I think it would be in your best interest to see if there is anything behind that (since you brought it up a couple of times).
Either way, whether there is something there or not, that introspection should help (at least a little) as to who you should go with.
I would rather be an old man's darling, than a young man's slave! Very old, but very true saying, learnt from experience. Only you can decide what is best for you, take care...
Younger. You will lose so much by staying with an older guy. He probably thinks you are great eye candy and likes to show you off to his old friends. I'm sure he also knows how to treat you since he's likely been around the block a hundred times.
Still, I'd go with the younger one so you can have a future. Otherwise you'll be changing two diapers in - your baby's and your boyfriend's.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
We would go on a walk in a beautiful location. We would have a meaningful conversation, and have a picnic or dinner at a nice casual restaurant. We would then speed the atmosphere up and go to a club or do something entertaining (bowling, dancing, etc.). I would were something dress casual--khaki slacks, a nice button down shirt, etc. It would end with nothing too extraordinary. It depends?!
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
She will know my goals/ambitions, my likes, hobbies, etc. I would be open with her, unless it is too personal. She would know the date went. She would know that I am open and honest.
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