Ok the girl I was dating told me she was not ready for a relationship if she was not able to go for it 100%. So I got feelings, she got feelings. From my side its all clear but from her side its just messed up.
She tells me she wants to enjoy life, go out flirt around. However it sounds more to me like she has lost control. The things she wants to do have a experience with a other woman, by going to a couples club on her own. And she was not worried of it turning out into more then with just the woman.
She flirts around with good friends, not feelings involved just needs.
She loves me I know that, and she knows she wants do that kind of things.
And she knows it cannot be done in a relationship.
However whats the need for doing it at all?
To me it does not make sense why somebody wants to do that, when in a real relationship something like that would not be needed if you got each other.
I seriously love this girl and don't want to lose her, but this just does not sound right to me.
Update: The one thing I ask myself is, what can I possibly say to her to stop behaving like this. Because it's absolutely not something to be proud of.
More than a year ago
Saying anything could make her feel crazy or uncomfortable so be very careful say something like "I really care about you but I am worried we can get help together and everything will work out" she knows that she is not behaving normally as well and is probably embarrassed about the situation.
LadyLush
(Age:18 to 24)
When: More than a year ago
Sounds to me like she is not ready to be committed like being in a real relationship that she went for and got 100% scared her so now she feels like she needs to experience everything in order to be happy with just you... it is not that she wants that from another guy though because you stated she is talking about trying woman as well sounds as if she is just freaking out. You have to talk to her and find out what is really important to her and where you stand with her if you love her this much and she sticks with these ideas then let her go and let her know when you let her go that you are in fact hurt by all of this and that you want her to find happiness even if it is not with you also make it clear on when she is done getting all of these feelings and expressions out of her system that you may or may not want to take her back because that in itself is a hard thing to swallow then tell her how much you love her and leave the choice up to her if she chooses to stay with you and not do these things let her know that this should not be brought up further because hearing that really hurts you and you told her she could leave already be honest with her and try to make her understand how difficult this is for you not to mention what you are feeling yet keep an open mind and show understanding as well good luck to you!
I agree that this is a question of inner turmoil, but I'm not a big believer in people changing or resolving underlying issues that have bothered them for a while. Usually people develop patterns and stick to them, "the pleasure of the pain." Be wary. It sounds to me like you might be going down with this ship. That's fine - pain is part of life and can make you better (though I personally think joy and happiness contribute more).
(Age:25 to 29)
When: More than a year ago
asked 3 days ago
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