My boss hired this gal as an administrative assistant. She was way over-qualified for the job, so I thought I'd try to find out why she took this position. On her first day, we hit it off (actually, she hit if off with everybody, she was great!) and with time our relationship just got better, but stayed very respectful and didn't 'go over the line' of what is considered appropriate for the workplace.
Well, I became infatuated with her. I hear her voice over the others in the office. I can smell her perfume when she walks by. I look for opportunities to go talk with her about very little business and more personal stuff. No other woman looks as beautiful to me anymore. I feel like there is something missing from my life even when she is out sick for a day. I think about her all of the time, wondering what she is doing and where she might be right now.
That was eight years ago and we're still very good friends (though I want it to be more and I sense that she does too).
She's married and her husband is not very attentive. To bad because she seems to thrive on attention. We have great heart-to-heart talks and she really seems to enjoy when we talk, but we both know that it should not go any farther (she's already been through one divorce). And I respect her enough that I will not take it past the point where either of us is uncomfortable (we've never had an affair and only kissed once).
So, here is my question: Is this just some kind of intoxicating pipe dream that we're sharing? Is there any real future for us? We are great together, but we're both afraid of screwing up our current lives so that we can be together properly.
So, that being the case, how do I get her out of my mind (when I already adore her)? I've already felt like we've been together for this long and I really admire her.
Yes, it does suck falling for such a great person that is already taken,... and it seems like all of the good ones are,.. which is all the more reason to get back out there and find another great one before she gets taken too.
I also don't want you to think that I am judging you here, but I would like to point out that having this type of emotional affair and kissing is really sneaky and in no way could possibly build a solid foundation between the two of you. After all, ask yourself,.. how would you feel if your wife was doing to you, what she is doing to her husband (and whether he notices or not because he does or does not pay attention to her or not doesn't matter).
If you do care for her like you do, then let her go and stop temping her to break vows that she gave in front of GOD. I know this probably isn't what you were looking for, but spend your time looking for someone else (which is probably going to seem impossible because you will keep comparing everyone to her).
Best of luck.
P.S. - If by chance she ever gets a divorce, then I would tell her how you feel before she gets away,... but I wouldn't wait around for that.
I was ready to say to you that you may have found the love of your life; until you got to the part about her being married. If, and only if, she gets divorced, can you take this further. As much as you think you love her, she's still married! And no good can come of it for either of you, if she cheats on her husband. That is totally destructive behavior for both of you! Keep it friendly, but don't go any further with her.
asked 3 days ago
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