So I'm kind of in love with this girl. I actually am. Not even in that stupid teen way "OMG I'M IN LOVE" I was worried that I was shitting myself into that for a while, but then I found out that my Grandma was in love from the time she was 14, and she's still married to that man. But seriously, I actually would do anything for this girl and already know a huge amount of the sacrifices that it would take to be with her (I actually didn't the first couple times I asked her out, but a lot has changed since then, and still, trust me, those sacrifices are HUGE,) but I still can see myself spending the rest of my life with her.
Now, I said all that to make sure you guys knew how I felt about her. Now, for how she feels about me. (Damn, that's always the hard one, isn't it?) I'm not sure. I know she likes me to a certain degree. (It went from the beginning of this year "You annoy me less than a lot of other people" to later "jealous is the word" (after I called her jealous when she expressed distaste of a potential interest of mine) but all the times I asked her out thus far, she said no. However, about a week ago, we were talking on the phone. She said that she could imagine "standing me" for the rest of her life (prompted by her father, who said that we had permission to get married,) and then we joked heavily about getting married.
And when I asked her if we were going to start dating, she just said "I don't know, (actually she just said "no" at first, but then changed her tack) but then she followed up that "I don't know" with "maybe you should ask me when we're both lucid and in person (this was at about midnight over the phone) So I decided I was going to. That's where the question comes in. Is that the right thing to do? Because I'm not sure if her feelings are as strong as mine, and is it fair to push her into a relationship where I'm more ready for pretty much everything than she is because she doesn't want to refuse?
But then you think that because you can't see between people's ears that you can never be sure how strong their feelings are (and she's not really the type that's into showing a lot of emotion anyway, so yeah) and I was just wondering kinda for the guys, if you would make my choice, and for the girls, if you think that would be the good choice to make, based on the things I've told you about her. Just looking for validation, because I've never had a relationship, and I don't want to f*** up the first one with someone I really really REALLY care about.
Update: How about a couple more people answer? Please?
9 months ago
If you love this person fight for her until the end! Don't ever let your love get away. Even if she is your impossible love. This dorky guy was crazy in love with me in high school. I met him in 10th grade. I wasn't in love with him. Every week he would ask me to be his girlfriend and I always said no. One day we were talking on the phone and he just blurted out "I love you" and I was like don't be crazy. This guy was crazy in love with me. He onced passed my biology class and yelled at the top of his lungs "I love you Jennifer*!!!" in front of the whole class! He would always be at my locker, always writing me letters, drawing me pictures, bringing me presents. A year and a half passed and I still didn't want to be his girlfriend.
Then Valentines day came and he gave me a little gold chain with a little character on it and he said that represented him and he kissed me on the cheek and was like Please be my girlfriend Jennifer* and I was like of course! It took a long time but I finally said yes b/c I realized he really did love me. The key is to become her best friend and eventually it will become something more. Valentines Day is coming and that is your opportunity to make your big move!
Not only did you answer this question, you answered what would be my next question. She said no, but she also expressed uncertainty about whether she ever deserved anyone to even know her. I was going to ask whether I should fight for her confidence. - 8 months ago
First of all, thank you for answering my question I appreciate it.
You have to realize you are 16... and I'm assuming she's 16 also? 16 is young but of course it is possible to fall in love at any age. You need to stand back and give this time. You need to keep it to just a friendship so she can get to know you more. If you love this girl you need to respect her and give her space. By asking her out over and over again after she says "no....maybe.... I don't know" is only going to push you further away because she will feel as if you are pressuring her into something he isn't ready for. You also need to realize the reality of it. You love her but unfortunately she may not love you back. If this is the case it would be better to let her go than to try and try again and only hurt yourself in the end. Give her time.. and see if she comes around to it. You may also want to explain your feelings to her directly and don't be afraid to do this girls LOVE to listen to guys about their feelings. Good luck!!!
Thanks a lot for the input! I told her two or three months ago that I would give it a break, but when I talked about others recently, she got JEALOUS with all caps. I get your point, though, and it was exactly what I was afraid of. Thanks for reminding - 9 months ago
Awwww!! I wish more guy were like you. well sorry to bust your bubble, I really am because I hate being heartbroken, too. But when a girl REALLY REALLY likes a guy and he asks her out, no matter what time, over the phone, texting. whatever, she will say yes. You said she said I don't know. that probably means she thinks your a really nice guy, and she probably likes you, because girls don't talk on the phone all night with just anyone, but she probably likes someone else a lot more. do you understand??
well if I were you, I would work up the courage to ask her out, and if she say yes than great but if she says no that's not so good. plus if she said that you should ask her in person, than maybe she wants to make sure she really wants to be with you. confusing huh?
yea I don't know how I got to this conclusion but ok. just take my advice and think about it. no one can tell you what the right choice is, because its all in your mind, and that's a fact =]
please aswer my latest question if you can. I would appreciate it. =]
See the thing was, I didn't ask her out over the phone per se, I just said "are we gonna start dating, then?" in this stupid voice that happens to a lot of people when they're kind of tired. So I don't blame her for saying I don't know. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Ooooo. I see. well I have a feeling she has something for you. So don't give up and ask her out, casually. - 9 months ago
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When: 8 months ago
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