Six years ago, I had a wonderful relationship with a man who was very honest and had wonderful communication skills. We tried for over a year to maintain a long-distance relationship... to no avail. Seven months ago, we decided to give it another try. Things were going so well, he was making plans to move here. Recently, things have taken a sharp turn for the worse. We have non-sensical arguments and spend days at a time without speaking. He is passive aggressive. He never gets angry, every fight is my fault, he evades questions and dodges issues. In addition, I have started going to counseling for codependency. He told me he's had rage issues since his grandfather died 5 years ago.
Then THE NEXT DAY he said he "never gets angry". He also told me his ex-girlfriend was passive aggressive. Can he recognize it in himself? He knows he has "rage issues", but when I said the words passive aggressive to him he was defensive and combative. Is there anything I can do?
One of the bad things about passive aggressiveness is that your boyfriend in this case, has a hard time getting pleasure from relationships with others and Is not aware that his self-defeating behaviors are part of their personality. IF you truly love him you can try to help him. But just dumping for that would be an easy way out and would probably make you regret in the future (again as long as you are certain that you do want to be with him). Think of it as a disease which you can help him cure.
passenger
(Age:18 to 24)
When: More than a year ago
Partners of passive aggressive people share a common trait--a strong tendency to over-function. You feel a sense of responsibility where your partner is often oblivious.
Trust is the foundation for a relationship that grows. The fastest way to rebuild trust is to deliver more than promised. The way to do that is to tolerate the disappointed reaction and then deliver like crazy. Most passive aggressive people grew up in an environment where they were deprived of positive strokes. Your expressions of appreciation will help more than you know. It may sound stupid giving appreciation to someone for things that he should already be doing anyway but you are trying to help him here.
asked 3 days ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
