I've know this guy for the past 5-6 years. We started out as friends, but I knew he was interested in something physical. I'd been warned by his friends so many times though that he's bad with girls, can't commit, etc etc. A couple of his friends claimed he really liked me, and he would ask me out constantly, but I couldn't trust anything, especially since this was back in my early 20's, you know, when everything is about sex. Eventually though, after about six months, we became close and I decided to sleep with him. It went on for a few months as just a casual sexual relationship, but now and then he'd comment that he could "give me more." If I ever brought it up though, he would say he didn't have more to give...so I gave up and quit speaking to him.
That didn't last obviously, but he had moved out of the city when we started speaking again. We continued to talk and have sex whenever he was in town to visit. Then it seems we fell into The Pattern - we would grow close, then drift apart. A few years later he moved back and we started talking again. By this time, I knew I wanted more, but I'm not the type to be proactive about things. We've had so many long talks about our relationship that I didn't want to bring it up again.
We spent more time hanging out and sleeping together, then one night it finally blew up and we put it all out there. That night he said he loves me. I'd waited so freakin' long to hear that, but I didn't believe it. He insisted he knew he was in love with me, and we decided to give it a go with dating. Sure enough though, about 3 weeks later, he backed out. I was absolutely crushed. Some time passed and we fell back into The Pattern - seeing each other now and then, and having casual sex. I think we both realized that was trouble though, because we didn't do it nearly as often, and eventually it tailed off.
AGAIN, that didn't last. We started speaking again as friends (and only friends), but once we had time alone together we were ripping each other's clothes off like crazy. My feelings aren't as strong as they used to be, but I can't shake the passion I have for him (wow, and I've always prided myself on not being corny).
I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't know how he really feels (and I'm not sure I could ever get him to say it). To be completely honest, I miss my friend even more than the sex. Any suggestions?
You guys need to come to an understanding that the friendship means more to both of you then the sex. Friends with benefits suck for one of the people involved. I would just ask him if you two could have a chat and put it out there, be open and honest and tell him that his friendship means a lot to you. If you are willing to stay on this sex/friends yo yo don't ask him how he feels. But, it seems you have been at it for quite some time. Text him and ask or email him. Sometimes guys can express themselves better through that then by the actual talking. When you ask him how he feels, try to be nonchalant about it.
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What is your favorite outfit for a night out with friends?
<3DARK SKINNY JEANS with a VERY CUTE top and short heel PUMPS. <3
How do you style your hair and do your make-up?
HAIR- Curl it (beautiful loose curls<3) Make-UP - not to crazy but the regular eyeliner mascara, chapstick, and a little bit of lip gloss on top, and eyeshadow.