Theres this guy. he's 27 and I'm 21. I had a lot of bad past relationships, beat, raped, used etc. I have a very low self esteem. But every time I talk to this guy he gets upset with me for a reason. Like becuz I drink so much, put myself in bad places or stay up for days with no sleep when I have kids to take care of.
He says I don't care about myself so how is anymore else going to care about me. he will say mean ass things to me but then later will text me I'm sorry you know I love u.. but he doesn't send it all in 1 texts its like ...I love.. then another text will say you I was a self injurer for 8 years.
I don't cry or anything I show no feeling like I'm sad or mad or something I just don't talk.. But all I hear in other peoples relationships is the guy likes the girl and will give her all the time she needs to feel ok with him.And he will wait forever for that time I feel the guy I'm friends with right now just going to use me in the end. How do you find a guy that will take it slow til I'm comfortable with him and not tell too much of my past that scares him away.
I just don't want people (guys) I go on a date with to think I'm not enjoying it because of my body language.
So what is your question exactly? You don't want your body language to betray you when on dates with guys? Or how do you find a guy that will take it slowly? Body language is probably the last thing to worry about; guys will most likely sense the not so confident vibes from you, so maybe first you need to start addressing your own personal problems, because unless those are addressed and solved, your mind will betray you, and sooner or later, they will come out when you're out on dates. About finding a guy---well, is a paradox. Since you mentioned you have had bad relationships with other guys, well then, use that as your measuring stick when you meet a new guy. Most of the times guys exhibit the same behavior patterns, so if you already experience the bad guys, as soon as you meet one that resembles a previous bf you had, then stay away from him. Of course, even this is not so easy to do, but it seems that your filter to recognize 'bad guys' is not so advanced yet...
I must say, you do have a difficult situation there, and is not so easy to give you a clear answer since to find the right person, we must first be 'healthy' with ourselves, before others will find us attractive---if that makes any sense! :)
Problem is. When I go on dates I'm not talkative or I can't look at them in there arm they hold my hand I'm like on edge.. And being that turns them to think I'm a bad date there most times in not a 2nd one - 7 months ago
I was asking why does a person body language turn people away. like for me when I'm on dates I can't look at him in his eyes I'm on edge when he holds my hand I'm not talkative. is that with everyone when they go on 1st dates? - 7 months ago
You are young still. I had a lot of similar issues that happened to me but I think about now how I have overcome a lot of it and I am stronger that I have ever been in my life. You can not pick the guy you want from a crowd. You mentioned above that he gets mad at you for those reasons you stated. That may be a good thing. You are a mom now and should be taking care of your children they rely on you. Do you have any kind of support? You know, I am a single mom of two kids. I put them ahead. I am always at home and here and now I will go out. Sometimes I fear about dating because I think that they will just be the same as my past relationships but then I think if it doesn't work out great. I am that much stronger to get out of the relationship and move on. So I advice for you is to get help. Get your life on track for your sake and your children's sake before you start looking for a guy.
Most times my kids are the top of my list that's why I stay up for days becuz I can't sleep at night and I have to do things all day. My sister supports me as does my mom.. she supported me in when my ex wanted an abortion. my sisters the babysitter lol - 7 months ago
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
Ill go wherever she wants to go, I dress up a bit because that's how I am. Fitted jeans and a nice button up, or t-shirt. I wear dago t-shirts underneath everything, with two silver chains as jewelry.
The date ends with a kiss or series of kisses, simple yet sweet.
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