Its been almost 3 years! We are still in the same place. We have gotten closer and we are only with each other. So why won't he commit? I know only a choice few of friends and family. I'm kinda wondering if he will ever make a decision. Upon asking he says he cares and enjoys our time. Should I just give up? We are older so maybe that's why its so confusing. He also says it would hurt him if I left. Please help me.
Well if you are wanting a deeper commitment, then you need to drop the friends with benefits routine. When he asks what is wrong, tell him you are no longer wanting a f. W. B. Relationship and you are going to look for a new guy. You could consider it a rush to make him think about committing. But if he doesn't pursue, then you are already taking one step in the right direction by breaking things off with him.
I think you need to make it perfectly clear to him that you want more than you have and that if he isn't going to offer it that you need to find someone who will. It may hurt him but it will be worse for you if you stay with him for another few years and it stays the same. That's another few years wasted when you could be having the committed relationship you desire.
I have made that clear. My biggest fear is that I say I'm done and he's like. Oh but if you would held out just a little longer. Ya know? - 10 months ago
Answerer
Try asking him how long it will be before he wants to commit. You can't stay in the relationship just because of the 'what if' factor. If you want to hold out a little bit longer and see do that, but give yourself a time limit, you don't wanna wait forever - 10 months ago
Girl I got to say this because I am going though the whole friends with benefits things myself. I know he with a other girl. You need to look at him long and hard and see what you want cause some guys don't want to have a girlfriend. They just want to fool around and I bet it breaking your heart.
It sounds harsh but it's like why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free, you know. he won't commit because it is easier for him to have you the way it is. And it certainly not change unless you make an ultimatum - I guess you are sure you want more, and you definitely deserve more, so why to settle for less? best of luck, I know you need that :
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