My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months and he says he loves me but never acts like it. He never tries to hold my hand or hug/kiss me and when I try to he tells me that I'm too needy. Does he really love me?
My boyfriend says he loves me but never really shows me that he does...help?
I have been exactly in your position except I was years into a relationship. It was great at first, but eventually even though he said he loved me, he wasn't meeting my needs for quality time or affection. So then, of course, I asked for more and he said I was being needy. Let me tell you what a psychologist told me: "needy is when you're getting enough and want more. He just wasn't meeting your needs in the first place." Trust me, I thought we would get married and I never wanted to be with anyone else, but I know that I would have been miserable for the rest of my life. It took a long time but I got over it and hope to find someone who WILL show that he loves me. If you do decide to tell him that and leave him, it will show him just how opposite of needy you are. Find someone who deserves your love. Your boyfriend is taking you for granted. Save yourself the constant heartache that I put myself through before I learned my lesson.
The answer is no. When it comes to men... rely on actions and not on words.
Here are the list of things that tells you clearly that he does not love you and therefore should kick his ass to the curb: 1. He cheats on you while you are his girlfriend or newly wedded wife (this is different for a couple that has been together for years and has kids) 2. He has sex with you even though he has a relationship with someone else and is not willing to leave the other person for you. 3. He doesn't want to hold your hand, hug and kiss in an affectionate manner. 4. He physically hurts you. 5. He stalks you, controls you and gets into jealous rages if you just so happen to mention another guy or God forbid look at one. 6. He constantly criticizes the way you dress and the way you are and makes you feel stupid. 7. He is never happy with any present that you give him. 8. He doesn't respond to your phone calls and messages.
The list goes on... and in your case its obvious he doesn't have feelings because if he did love you he couldn't resist to not hug you or kiss you... it would be torture.
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