Here it goes: I did a stupid thing by initiating something with an old friend of mine. He has been dating this girl for a few months and well. It just happened. It was dumb on my part. The first time I saw him in a while he flirted with me and I did what I did. (we did NOT have sex) He finished what I started. I did not feel bad because he hurt me with how everything went down with the girlfriend. A couple of weeks later it happened again, but this time you could say we both initiated. Then a third time, but this time he initiated. Nothing came of it because I left. I have some DEEP feelings for him and at one time he had the same for me, but we were not in a place to do anything about it. I am not a forward person so when he was single he thought I was toying him. I was just scared and have since told him so. Sex was one of the main issues before and now he knows that is not the case now. He never pressured me but I know that was what he wanted. He waited a long time for me (years). Is he using me just to get what he wants now that sex is no longer an issue for me?
I think it depends on the way he is acting toward you. If he treats you like a girlfriend when he is around you or if he just comes by gets what he needs and goes. You still haven't mentioned if you and him actually slept together which would be a big part because if he got what he longed for and is still coming around then it was just a conquer scenario. Also what does he say about his girlfriend. He wants to end it or plans on ending. No matter what the situation it is always shitty to be the other person. Meaning you in this situation. The person on the outside of the actual relationship.
Never had sex. He got distant before I found out about her but now it is like old times. We don't talk about girlfriend. No plans to end it I don't think, but he is open to anything I want with no hesitation. I don't think he sees it as cheating. Can't help himself? - 10 months ago
Answerer
Unless you actually talk about some sort of future at all then he is using you. He is having his cake and eating too. Have the convo with him sooner than later. Ask where his head is at because you are going to end up being the one that is hurt. - 10 months ago
Question Asker
This IS shitty. Have not gotten a real answer just he doesn't know. Would never expect this from him. Or me. We are both totally out of character. Have I lost his respect because of my actions? It does hurt. A lot. - 10 months ago
I don't feel bad for you because this should be pretty obvious. He has a GIRLFRIEND so anything that he's doing with you is sneaky and not good. If he was an honest guy he wouldn't be a cheater, and when you're dealing with a cheater - anything goes. Even if you didn't go all the way with him, you're doing some type of sexual act. Messing around almost always leads to full on sex so in his mind he probably thinks he's about to land the deal. So he probably is using you hun. =/
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 10 months ago
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