well my girlfriend is a virgin and she says she's ready for sex ( if we do it will be my second time) but she's a very shy person even with me and prefers me to be in control. I recommended for her 1st time she goes on top and can ease it in so she feels comfortable but she didn't like the idea and said she'd rather me on top and push into her. I'm really scared I'm going to hurt her because she's my baby and I promised her I'd never hurt her physically or emotionally, but I know it is going to hurt so if there anything I can do to make it easier for her? (she's allergic to something in lube as well so we can't use that) i already know what kinds of things I'm going to say, but I would like some more things I could use to make it a memorable experience, because I know it'll hurt and she won't show it she'll do 'silent tears' (where its not like crying and it looks like nothings wrong but you'll see tears running down her cheeks) I thought I'd like wipe away her tears and say things like "oh baby I hate hurting you but I promise things will get better" is there anything else I could say? also I know she won't tell me to stop even if its killing her so I'm wondering how long should I go for before I stop? or should I like penetrate for I little bit then do some oral or something then penetrate again? any advise would be so helpful
Update: suggestions are great keep em coming =)
4 months ago
1st wen your bout to come pull out that's the safest thing to do 2nd you should be on top so you can just go in as slow as she wants 3rd maybe finger her some before yu do it
if you have done enough fingering it shouldn't be too painful for her. The reason it's painful for women the first time is because of a small ring of skin inside called the hymen that breaks the first time a girl has sex, but it can also be broken by tampons, fingers, or, in my best friends case, trotting on horseback. There are many types of lube and I'm sure she could find some that work for her. Otherwise, spit works as well as anything. You sound really sweet like you've really planned it out. Just go slow. Missionary is best
I would happily wait forever for her but she insists she's ready - 4 months ago
Answerer
But she isnt... - 4 months ago
N/A
When: 4 months ago
missionary is definitely the way to go. girl on top is kinda impersonal and she'd have to be in control. when you start going in, go slow. is she allergic to water-based lubes? if you're using a condom, you have to use lubricant. it will hurt her a lot to not use a lubricant. if you aren't using a condom, and she isn't allergic to baby oil, try that. if you ARE using a condom, by no means should you use baby oil, it will break down the latex. but really, you should use a lubricant of some kind. she will be pretty nervous and probably won't get very wet on her own. without lubricant, she will be in a lot of pain. I hope this helps.
This happened to me and my babe too...He was scared he was going to hurt me...He wasn't a virgin anymore and well I was...Make it romantic and sweet that way she can get her mind out of it and how hurtful is going to be...Play around with her first and stuff...It will hurt her when it penetrates but after a while if you are careful and take things slowly it won't as much..Ask her if she's ok and to tell you when she wants you to stop...Its much easier if you are on top first that way you can kind of make her secure since you will know what your doing then let her get on top when ever she gets comfortable that way she can control...Oral sex helps too! That's some of the few things me and my babe did and trust me ill never forget it...=} good luck! Oh and tell her how much you love her and need her and how much she means to you after sex!
i would recommend that you guys start with standard missionary...you on top. it is a little less awkward and is more intimate...in my opinion. as long as you go slow...it will be less painful for her. just remember to listen closely to her response and any other verbal communication. make her feel secure. do not rush into either...lots of kissing and fingering helps to make it less painful.
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