if i even think about my wife i get horny. i cant help it. she drives me crazy. we've been together 11yrs now and she is as sexy to me now as she was then. i don't think she feels the same way. being with me is like a chore to her. it hurts me to think she hates having sex with me. i love her too much to cheat on her. but i feel empty inside with out her touch. i dont know what to do. i have to start a fight with her to have sex with her. i hate that it stretches that far. it makes me not want to even try. help me!
I'm not sure if this is going to help or not but here goes. A woman needs romance as well as sex, the best sex ever can be improved on by a little romance. Even just the smallest gestures of romance will make her heart skip a beat and remind her of how much she loves you, which may just spur on a more active sexlife.
I think sometimes when we get adjusted to each other we forget about how and why we were so turned on by our partners once upon a time, just give her a gentle reminder of what a sweetie she married all those years ago. ;0) and she will be pulling you into the bedroom.
First of all, let me say that is so sweet. I love the idea that after 11 years your wife still turns you on every time you see her. After just 5 1/2 year my husband and I split up, not my choice, but still.
Now, to answer your question. Maybe you should try and change things up a little. Try doing different things to get her interested. Don't try and have sex with her all the time, that is going to get really boring for her. Maybe get a hobby, or go camping with some friends just to get out of the house for a while. Maybe if you are away from her for a while she will miss you and want sex when you return.
we do change things up all the time, don't get me wrong. i don't try to have sex with her every moment of my day every day. but i think your right about the hobby. thank you - 8 months ago
No matter how much I might love my guy, if he wants to have sex with me every time he sees me, that's going to get really old, really fast. She's got other things to do, after all. Perhaps taking care of the house or kids, perhaps things related to her job, perhaps just things to do to relax. Sex just isn't the top priority in a woman's mind, especially as she gets older. Also, it could be that you're falling into a routine when you have sex with her. Mixing things up a bit might help. But ask HER what SHE would like to do!
Some marriage counseling would probably help your relationship and your sex life a lot. Getting these issues out in the open might help you to not desire sex as often, and it also might help you to see what might get your wife to want sex more often. You can probably reach a healthy compromise with the assistance of a professional third party to help you sort things out.
i guess i asked for that. but so you know it's not every time i see her. i get it about every 3 to 4 days. but your right about the kids and the house. i guess she needs time to her self. thank you - 8 months ago
First get her relaxed. Get her relaxed about life, family, work, kids, house, dinner, everything. To do that YOU clean the house; cook dinner/get takeout; clean the kitchen; do whatever you have to do with the kids i.e. their homework; do the laundry; do any chore around the house she would otherwise do. This can be your hobby the other girls are talking about for about a week. Make sure she doesn't have to think about a damn thing. Maybe you can even take the kids to school yourself (if it's a possibility; you're work start time might not allow it).
Then give her a back rub when she gets home. Maybe you can send her an email at work that says "I love you." I'm not sure about buying flowers though; it might be good, or she might get suspicious that you are guilty of something. I'll let that one be your call. Give her a back rub when you are in bed and about to go to sleep. She should especially enjoy the back rub when it's that time of the month for her. Get her to cuddle with you while you sleep, but don't mention the word sex or try to feel her. Just cuddle while you sleep.
Do not yell at her, do not get angry at her, and try to keep your voice calm at all times with her. Try to have an attitude to get her to smile at home. Get her to be happy and relaxed at home. Also try some romantic things to get her relaxed, like fix her a bubble bath, or buy chocolate fer her only and don't let the kids find it. But then again she might not get relaxed by this and she might think you are guilty of something. I'll still let the romantic things be your call. But doing all the chores around the house is still a must.
When she sees that you are giving all of this attention to her, that can count as great foreplay. She is relaxed and she should be ecstatic that you have done everything for her. That should put her in the mood.
You're crazy. I work my ass off all day and then I should come home and work my ass off there. For what? So I might get laid. She doesn't work and the kids are in school all day. I understand what you're getting at but please. - 8 months ago
N/A
(Age:36 to 45)
When: 8 months ago
Sounds to me like you need some professional help. Being around a horn dog all the time would turn anyone off. Sometimes an over attentive mate can be very annoying. My advice is to get a hobby so you aren't as obsessed with the thought of her.
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