About six months ago my roommate discovered a boy she went to church camp with years ago was going to the same university as us. He came over occasionally to party and after 6 months of seeing him at the apt. Three or four times total, he added me to facebook and instantly wrote on my wall making a comment
Over the next week we talked on facebook and he came over to go to the bar with my roommate and I. Well we went to the bar two hours later than expected cause him and I kept talking about the military, favorite shows and his hometown which is where my sister and her husband lives.
After the bar we needed a ride and he came to get us. That night after we were home and he went home he wrote on my wall and asked me to a movie and something to eat. We went on the date. It was nice- after the theater and dinner we went to his place and watched a movie. After an hour of slowly moving each others hands closer we finally held hands and eventually made out. That was the only "date" I consider we have had. Since then him and I have watched movies/tv together at least 3 nights a week and it has led to sex.
Here is the thing: we have never had a talk about what we are or what we want. This has been going on over a month. Two months from now he will be starting a program in his home town and I will be moving to a job after graduation. The distance is two hours. In the past couple weeks it seems like all we do is have sex. Which is what we do and I have assumed we are just two people having sex as friends. But this week he has brought up things like hey we should run together, or we were talking about roads to his home town and how they are curvy and he is like you should come to Sparta and I should take you on roads south of town.
Last night after great sex he randomly looks at his computer and goes "hey what does it's complicated on facebook mean, if it's already complicated, then what is the point! " I replied "I don't know I have a few friends that go back and forth". Then he says: "Are you one of those? " I said "huh"? He says "Am I the only guy you are with? " I said "yea. Am I the only girl you are with? " he goes "well yea I haven't had sex with a girl in about three months" I replied with "yea it's been about four for me". Then my phone rang and I had to go.
I will admit I am starting to like him but I can shut myself off emotionally if he's not interested.
How should I bring up the question what are we?
The sex is great and I don't want to loose that.
In opinion, am I reading into this that he wants more? cause I can just play it cool.
Update: Tonight I was little drunk. We hung out and then had sex I got the nerve afterwards to ask him " So are we friends with benefits? " He replied "It seem so". It wasn't awkward afterwards but I knew he had to leave. Now not heart broken just trashed lol
8 months ago
I would say you definitely are. . But, remember that sometimes feelings can get involved. So, if you start to fall fall him, let him know. Also, if one of you finds someone else, make sure there is not going to be a jealousy issue.
This is a sex-thing, through and through. You don't date, you don't answer to each other in regards to accountability and all you really do is sex. IF either of you wanted more, then nobody is doing anything about it to 'upgrade' into a serious relationship. The assumption is that both of you are looking for that special person yet have a sex-thing on the side until the "chosen one" is found.
This is the most simplest type of relationship people can have and should never be complicated at all. He's using you, you're using him mutually. NO multiple partners, NO expectations, NO searching for new sex partners, NO transmission of STD's, NO pregnancy and NO hard feelings. If he really wants more than this, he better say something because from what I am reading, you do not want more than that. At least not with him. Communication is needed here in a hurry.
If this does fall through the cracks, wish him Godspeed and find a new partner. PLENTY of men would love to have a woman like you, I'm a bit too old *sob*.
ASK him before he leaves or you will be left wondering. Talk to him, you sound like good friends. Ask questions like "so what's your plans when you start training" or "you know we won't be able to do this when I move" and see what type of response he gives you. No one can have sex without emotions getting involved. He's probably wondering just like you are. The question is who will be the first to ask?
So I've done some searching and see that this situation happens a lot with people. A lot of the answers I have looked at seem to be a mixed bag of...
View Answers
Ok so here it goes, we were friends in high school, and after that we started hooking up. We have been hooking up for almost 2 years but about a year...
View Answers
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 8 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
