4 months ago my sons father left me after 3 1/2 years, for someone he met online. We had a mutual friend who seen everything my ex did 2 me. We all went on a vacation together and my ex and I had a fight, I went to our friends room to cry on his shoulder and he asked why I put up with all the b/s (my ex cheated on me a lot), and told me to just stay with him for the remainder of the weekend. My ex and I were engaged and I told my friend it just wouldn't be right. 2 months later my ex left. Not long after our friend heard about what happened through my boss (our mutual friend and my boss are best friends). The very next day after my boss heard about everything, my friend saw me and expressed his condolences about my ex leaving. He even asked if there was anything he could do. I said to him remembering what he said during our vacation. That he could just take me out and show me a good time. Lol. He then says well have 2 do that sometime. Christmas was 2 weeks later, he emailed me the day after 2 ask how my Christmas was and say he was thinking about me. 3 weeks later he took me out 2 show me that good time and we became that horrible phrase "FWB". Since then we've went out several times and he has even asked me 2 go on vacation w him this summer and talk everyday at least once on the phone. My kids even have taken 2 him. He "visits" me at least 2xs a week and I have even "visited" him. (He lives with his parents due to going through a bad divorce, so I have met them also, as he has met mine. ) My ex and him have even had some nasty things to say to each other and are no longer friends. I even stayed with him one night at his parents house, but he has never stayed with me and I live by myself with my 2 kids. We have not said we were "exclusive" and when we are asked while in each others company we both look at each other and say we are "FWB" or REALLY good friends. We even say it 2 each other. I told him once I was falling for him but he said don't go doing that yet, so I never said it again. We have now been "FWB" for almost 4 months and I don't know where I possibly stand with him. Is it all just about the "benefits" or could it be something else?
You should have a good think about what you want from this guy. If you really are falling for him and you want to be together then you do need to tell him that. Note that he said 'don't go doing that YET' before, so it's not something he's rejecting out of hand. If he says he's not ready by then you should ask him why he's not ready and say that you are confused about your status.
You don't need to rush him into marriage or anything so serious, but you have a right to demand exclusivity at any time, and when kids are involved you have a right to demand straight talking and clear answers to your questions about where this is going.
Don't let him put you off asking or delay giving you answers. If he can't be honest with you about his feelings and your status and if you can't trust him to give you straight answers then you won't be able to trust him going forward anyway.
You both have a wonderful opportunity to be together with somebody close and put your previous relationships behind you. If you are to make the most of this opportunity the one thing you need to do more than anything else is communicate with each other openly and honestly. The first person you should ask ALL your questions is HIM!
So I've done some searching and see that this situation happens a lot with people. A lot of the answers I have looked at seem to be a mixed bag of...
View Answers
Ok so here it goes, we were friends in high school, and after that we started hooking up. We have been hooking up for almost 2 years but about a year...
View Answers
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
