that he's not good at oral sex?I am a virgin so I'm not exactly sure what to do and all we've ever done is oral and fingering.I never have an orgasm(although sometimes I am pretty close)and even though I don't when he fingers me I still prefer that.Afterwards he always ask me if I had an orgasm and I tell him yes even though I didn't quite have one.I don't think he knows how to find my G-spot.Should I tell him because even though I don't come I still enjoy it because I love him and he makes me happy.What do you think I should do.Tell him or just keep it to myself.I really don't want to hurt his feelings
Update: Thanx for the great advice everyone!im still trying to figure out who to give the best answer to.Right now its between wanacot and ms.anonymous at the bottom of the page.you both really helped and it was deeply appreciated.: )feel free to add more...
6 months ago
First off, you need to decide if your boyfriend is "not good at oral sex" or whether you "still enjoy it". Your question is a little contradictory.
Is he not good at oral sex simply because you don't have an orgasm?
I know it's hard for you being a virgin, but you need to express your thoughts and feelings to him about sex, your body and what you like. He's not a mind reader so you need to let him know certain things. If you prefer him to finger you, then tell him. Don't do it in a condescending manner or put him down, just let him know. I guarantee you he just wants to make you happy.
If he doesn't know how to find your G-spot (and assuming you do), show him where it is. Move his hands/mouth around so he does/know what you like.
Everyone likes different things (as you'll find out with other sexual partners) and has different experiences. You're the only one who knows what you like so make sure to communicate that to your bf.
Sorry I'm not trying to contradict myself.It's just that he always asks me afterwards if I had an orgasm and I don't have one.I still like it, regardless of if I had one or not because I love him and he tries to please me.I just don't want to lie and say yes but if I say no he'll spend the rest of forever worrying abt what he's doing wrong.I think I'd feel pretty bad if it was me...And no I don't know where my G-spot is(well I have an idea).I was hoping he could help me find it...: ( - 6 months ago
Answerer
It's understandable your boyfriend wants to give you an orgasm, but talk to him about not focusing so much on the end result. Rather, tell him to enjoy the time together regardless of where you end up. (He should be enjoying himself and not worried about making you orgasm or it'll turn into a chore for him.)
Google "g-spot" and you will see diagrams and descriptions of where it is. You can practice finding it on your own or, better yet, get him to help you find it. This will help both of you learn... - 6 months ago
Answerer
...and have fun at the same time. Find out what works for you and what doesn't (again you can do this alone or with him) and experiment. If something feels good, let him know so he can focus on doing the things you love. If certain things bring you closer to orgasm then let him know of those too. It's all about communication. Make sure he realizes he is not a "failure" if he can't make you orgasm and that you love just being with him. - 6 months ago
What Guys Said
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Well you shouldn't have lied in the first place! But since you have yourself in this predicament why don't you try changing things up a bit. Maybe try toys or something different. And anymore if he asks you tell him the truth. Truth and honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. After you lose that you lose it all. So stop lying, start telling the truth, and talk about how you can spice things up without losing your virginity! No matter what you do though, Stay safe! :)
Thank you for the advice!it was truly appreciated.The first time he did it(my first time getting it done)i thought I wasn't able to have an orgasm because I was nervous and so I lied so that he didn't think I was hard to please.I thought the next time would have been better which it was but I didn't quite "get there".And then by that time I thought he would start to wonder how come I had an orgasm the first time we did it but I wasn't having it at all after that.Im just trying to fix it now... - 6 months ago
N/A
When: 6 months ago
Tough questions, my last relationship I told him. And he turned sex and foreplay into a chore! He would just do it for hours and would get so frustrated because I couldn't orgasm. It was a mood killer lol.
Yea that's what I'm trying to avoid.i don't want him to feel he has to stress himself out.i mean like sometimes when he fingers me or we have oral sex his fingers/tongue probably gets tired so I lie just so he could take a break.i don't want him to think I'm hard to please but I don't want to lie either because he really tries.Maybe it's not him...it's me : ( - 6 months ago
Answerer
Lol... It's him. That was my ex, my current boyfriend knows what he is doing lol. - 6 months ago
Well I think you should definitely tell him because otherwise not telling him is kind of worse because he probably thinks he is doing well and then if he finds out much later on that you were lying then he will feel like a fool. So in the long run it is best you tell him. Also do you really want to go on lying about what it feels like and not feeling fully satisfied not only does he deserve the truth you deserve to be pleasured just as much as he is.
I think don't say outright you're crap at oral or whatever but do things like this: whenever he does something that feels really good then show it moan, tell him, compliment it - guys will generally rememeber your best reactions and hopefully he will continue whatever he did right
or maybe try fingering yourself with him so he knows where your g spot is
and don't be afraid when he;s down there to guide him by saying things like a little to the left or omg that's good etc just tell him when he does good.
but don't say he can't do it because that will probably ruin his confidence just subtle criticism will work and a bit of guidance and lots and lots of practice, because he will get better :)
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