I been with my fiance now going on 7 years . And we use to do it like rabbits when were younger ! Lol, seriously . Like ALL the time . Now we have 3 kids . And I just don't feel up to it most of the time . But he's always touching me, grabbing on me . And holding areas that I don't like to be held . He gets mad when I turn him down . Its like he ALWAYS needs it ! Guys any tips on what's up with him ? You'd think he'd not be very interested anymore considering how long we've been together and such . I think it's gotten a little boring for me plus after 3 kids your body goes through lots of changes . I just don't know why he wants it all the time . And how do I go about telling him that I'm not all that into it anymore without him thinking I've lost interest in him ? PLease GUYS help !
Something is wrong . Normally, I hear way too often how once the marriage happens, the sex and romance from men is gone . Now hearing from this from the wife is very uncommon indeed . You were saying that he's holding areas you dislike . Was this always the case or were these areas ok in the beginning ? The fact that he's continuing the love and affection for you is good but if you continue to reject him, there's a problem . A BIG problem that will lead to something worse such as an affair or even divorce . I've seen this happen too often . You are still young(by my comparison) and to have 3 kids already is tough but you must help maintain the flame and the passion or else . He could go find someone else . Seen that happen too .
I strongly suggest counseling and talking with your hubby about this . I just hate seeing so many young people breaking up on things that can be fixed . I feel you are very lucky to have such a passionate man who is loyal to you . But if the sex is boring, try to add some different ideas . If however you just don't want to have sex anymore and feel this will strain your marriage, get help now and not later . Trust me, this is building up plenty of frustration for your husband .
This happens a lot in your situation . When you think it's a good time to tell him, let him know that you sometimes just quite feel up to it, and that it is not because of him . Then give him a quick kiss and hug to reassure him .
But then remember, it will be your responsibility to initiate sex, because he is not a mindreader and he doesn't know when you want it, and he doesn't want to be rejected .
Thanks . But the question still is why does he want it so much still ? . Would you say he's an addict or what ? That's the part that confuses me the most - 5 months ago
Answerer
He might have a high sex drive that tell him he needs a release, and he comes to you with it without putting thought to what he is doing . - 5 months ago
Remember men are different creatures then us. A lot of times men want sex not only for the pleasure of it, but as a way to feel close to their partner. Sometimes we as women don't understand this cause a hug or kiss will satisfy our emotional needs. Men need more of a physical connection to get that some feelings of closeness.
Like someone said earlier, he may just have a high sex drive and your's is in a down slope right now. This might just be a phase in your life, but if you have zero sex drive you may want to discuss this with your doctor. Certain birth control pills or anti depressants can affect your sex drive also.
If things are getting boring in the bedroom for you, maybe you two need some alone time away from your kids. Try getting a hotel room once in a while so you can be away from the distractions of home. Or suggest to him something different that you might want to try. Maybe if he is a little more romantic towards you, it will stir up more sexual feelings in you.
I have been married for 13 years and have three kids so I understand what your are talking about, but I sure hope my husband never stops asking for sex!! Sometimes if he's in the mood and I'm not or I'm tired, I tell him he's got 10 minutes. That way he knows I'm not looking for a long romp but he hasn't been turned down either.
Try to communicate your feelings when he is not actually trying to initiate sex and that will help him to not feel rejected.
Completely agree . Some of us men are cursed with a Sex-Drive-From-Hell that never gets enough . The good news is that he is still with her . But if this denial keeps up, the marriage could be in trouble . Seen this before with others, not good - 5 months ago
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My ideal date would be something romantic and fun at the same time. Maybe dinner and then bowling. I would probably wear a cute pair of jeans and a nice top (turtleneck in the winter, sleeveless in the summer) with a pair of heels. The date ends with us both smiling like big dorks so much because we had a great time (LOL)and him making a second date right there.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
My date will know that I am a funny girl who loves to crack jokes and make people laugh. He will know that I'm very independent but I still love him to hold my door open for me and pull my chair out. He will also find out that I have a competitive streak but most of all he'll know that he can't live without me! LOL.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 5 months ago
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